Another year is about to be gone. The end is near! I long ago decided not to hang any clocks in the house to be reminded of the time passing. Clocks and watches are just human inventions which in spite of their obvious functions and good intentions, causing us so much stress and grief. But whom am I kidding?! Whenever I turn around in the house, there is time slapping right on my face. It’s virtually everywhere you look: computer, cell phone, microwave, oven, TV, stereo set... Run, Pingster, Run. I run to my car, here you go again. It's there in front of the dashboard as soon as the engine is started. Exhausted, then I come to the realization there is nowhere to run from time.
New Year's Eve brings the pinnacle of that reminder of time passing. Even though it's months before your next birthday, you feel you are one year older already. Every loud group count-down shout towards the midnight pounds on the weakening heart. You follow up with Happy New Year cheers but happy is not the exact mood in which you welcome New Year. You can be merry at Christmas because supposedly Christ was born but how could you be happy at New Year because the coming of New Year also means you lost the old year. What the hell did the past year go? Out of 365 days, it's really cruel being solo on the last day of the year. You need someone by your side who does not know the answer either. 2 "don't-know"s equal to 1 "don't-care". Cheers to marriage. In the first year after I moved to Seattle I had the New Year's Eve alone. I drove to the Seattle Needle a few hours before the midnight firework show. Impatient of the long waiting in a crowd of strangers, I drove home and cracked open a large Margarita bottle. Over half a bottle later, I felt tipsy to half drunk, and believed I was knocked out by alcohol to sleep before the midnight. Later that next year I told Richard about my previous New Year's Eve. Seeing that same leftover Margarita bottle, Richard laughed uncontrollably. He said it was only Margarita mix and there was not single alcohol content in it. I then read the label. He was right. If the conceived alcohol could make me so delusional as to feel drunk, why couldn't time?
I just read this of Max Ehrman's prose poems today. It came to me in a time of need:
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas 2008!
Ho, Ho, Ho, Christmas is cancelled this year. Says Santa.
Let it snow. Those were the words on the Christmas cards I sent out to you all this year. That's what we have wished all along for this Christmas. But be careful what you wish for. It started to snow over one week ago, and there have been no signs of slowing down since. We've got about 2 feet snow around the house a few days ago, according to the measurement by the man in the house. The heavy snow days have turned us all Washingtonian callers into volunteer weather reporters (Guess we all want to have a meteorologist's job. It's not only economy proof, but also weather proof. A meteorologist can report to work while vacationing in Thailand because any mistakes they make, it's the weather's fault. What can you say.) You bet when a phone rings all you are going to hear is how much snow the other side is getting, or whether it is still snowing. People send in their snow shots around their houses over the phone. We do the same. You think you've got more snow than us. Look, we’ve got more than you. Now the results are in. Here are our photos. We won. Richard is worried that the roof of his parents house is going to collapse. We watch the snow piling into hills on the front wood decks. At first we are afraid they will give in, and then we remember we have home insurance to cover the decks. We find ourselves plan on the details about how to expand the decks if they give in, of course using the insurance money. Snow, please fall in more. We like the new deck idea.
After failing on my all-wheel drive car, Richard tried his 4-wheel pickup truck. It got stuck on our own driveway halfway. Luckily, one of our neighbors is the local Fire Chief. Think about it. Everyone else can be stuck in the house but not the Fire Chief. To ensure the Fire Chief be able to get out of his house, a contractor was hired to plow his driveway so as a collateral benefit, all of us neighbors on the same road got the free plowing service on our driveways. We are no longer trapped in the house.
With all the snow in the truck bed, it almost feels as if we are heading to deliver the snow whenever we take off. Snow anyone? At the corner of the road by the Walmart today, a young man was holding a sign that says "Homeless. Sleeps in the Car. Needs help." Felt bad for him standing there in the snow. But sorry guy, unless you need snow. We got a full trunk load.
While it might be too much snow than we asked for, it is still the most beautiful and peaceful sight. You don't look at rain the same way you gaze at snow. Rain falls down fast, and gets lost the minute it drops on an object whereas snow falls gently, and with each flake it accumulates until it creates such a perfect decoration on everything it touches. That’s quite a metaphor to the results of rushing in vs slowing down. Look around. You are the interior decorator of your house. The snow is the exterior decorator. Now it’s the perfect setting for the Christmas, only if we can get to the party location.
For this Christmas, I'm sure some people have to call it canceled simply because of the undrivable road condition, unfortunately. Ho, Ho, Ho. Not us! No way!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Let it snow. Those were the words on the Christmas cards I sent out to you all this year. That's what we have wished all along for this Christmas. But be careful what you wish for. It started to snow over one week ago, and there have been no signs of slowing down since. We've got about 2 feet snow around the house a few days ago, according to the measurement by the man in the house. The heavy snow days have turned us all Washingtonian callers into volunteer weather reporters (Guess we all want to have a meteorologist's job. It's not only economy proof, but also weather proof. A meteorologist can report to work while vacationing in Thailand because any mistakes they make, it's the weather's fault. What can you say.) You bet when a phone rings all you are going to hear is how much snow the other side is getting, or whether it is still snowing. People send in their snow shots around their houses over the phone. We do the same. You think you've got more snow than us. Look, we’ve got more than you. Now the results are in. Here are our photos. We won. Richard is worried that the roof of his parents house is going to collapse. We watch the snow piling into hills on the front wood decks. At first we are afraid they will give in, and then we remember we have home insurance to cover the decks. We find ourselves plan on the details about how to expand the decks if they give in, of course using the insurance money. Snow, please fall in more. We like the new deck idea.
After failing on my all-wheel drive car, Richard tried his 4-wheel pickup truck. It got stuck on our own driveway halfway. Luckily, one of our neighbors is the local Fire Chief. Think about it. Everyone else can be stuck in the house but not the Fire Chief. To ensure the Fire Chief be able to get out of his house, a contractor was hired to plow his driveway so as a collateral benefit, all of us neighbors on the same road got the free plowing service on our driveways. We are no longer trapped in the house.
With all the snow in the truck bed, it almost feels as if we are heading to deliver the snow whenever we take off. Snow anyone? At the corner of the road by the Walmart today, a young man was holding a sign that says "Homeless. Sleeps in the Car. Needs help." Felt bad for him standing there in the snow. But sorry guy, unless you need snow. We got a full trunk load.
While it might be too much snow than we asked for, it is still the most beautiful and peaceful sight. You don't look at rain the same way you gaze at snow. Rain falls down fast, and gets lost the minute it drops on an object whereas snow falls gently, and with each flake it accumulates until it creates such a perfect decoration on everything it touches. That’s quite a metaphor to the results of rushing in vs slowing down. Look around. You are the interior decorator of your house. The snow is the exterior decorator. Now it’s the perfect setting for the Christmas, only if we can get to the party location.
For this Christmas, I'm sure some people have to call it canceled simply because of the undrivable road condition, unfortunately. Ho, Ho, Ho. Not us! No way!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Trip to Tibet Summer of 2008
A trip to Tibet this year is almost out of my need for time travel, in other words, to pay tribute to my early days. For most part of my childhood and youth in China, Tibet was my imaginary pilgrimage whenever I needed escape and comfort from reality. It's been one of those places on my "Bucket List" that I always wanted to visit before I said that final good-bye (of course, in a comfortable bed surrounded by familiar faces) but didn't really plan to get there because like everyone else unconsciously I thought I was immortal. It was one of those many things, I assumed when the opportunity presented itself, I would go. But opportunity neither came by itself nor by my waiting. So I never went. Finally, many years later after I regarded even my house a better pilgrimage, I decided it was about time to visit Tibet. Sounds strange but aren't things always seem to happen that way? It was as if some superior power was to test my will, this opportunity came at a bad time: Tibet had the uprising (It's not safe to go); Washington has the most enviable summer (It's a shame to leave for anywhere else in August); I got torn ligament in one foot several days before my trip and I was instructed to rest my foot for at last three months. Last but not least, when my husband and I opened the fortune cookies in a Chinese restaurant before the trip, mine said that I would soon taste exotic food and his said that he would inherit some money and jewelry (What was that supposed to mean? and the only piece of jewelry I own is my wedding ring!). It coincided with a good time in the Buddhist practice. In Buddhism, if what you do is based on some gaining ideas, either for self improvement or any concrete purpose, then you achieve nothing.
I didn't want to join a tourist group if at all possible: those airport signs, tourist buses, guides holding the small flags followed closely by the tourists, and those "been there, done that" photo shots. But what are my choices with my limped foot and limited time? As they say, beggers can not be choosers. Luckily, I convinced my younger sister to go with me at the very last minute. We are just 2 years apart in age and we have always been close. We two traveled a few times together in China in the past so I knew we would have a lot of laughter along the way.
We did. It's easy to enjoy a trip with a pleasant travel partner like my sister and we don't have those "should" or "shouldn't" expectations. I hear from most people who have visited Tibet that a Tibet trip is a one-time shot, once visited, never gone back. I guess it would be a disappointing experience for one traveling there out of curiosity, looking for traditional Wow factor sceneries, or expecting standard level of comfort. For me, the more stories I heard and the more I saw: precious cow shit (no bullshit about it. Cow shit is used as building material, food and fuel), wedding rituals, different types of burial rituals out of which I witnessed one (the photos are too disturbing. I saved them for future deleting), I wished I had read more about Tibet before the trip, and I would go back again someday, perhaps spending more time and of course not with a tourist group again. The highest altitude we stood on was over 5190 meters (16867 feet). We were told that the border petrol soldiers over there were featured each year on CCTV to greet the whole nation during Chinese New Year's Eve because that's the guarded ground on earth closest to the sky. One guy on our bus had to know the elevation from the Tibetan guide every time before he decided whether to come out in case of platau/altitude sickness. That made me wonder whether plataue sickness is just a mental thing for most people. Our first guide is from my hometown Chongqing. He seemed to be only interested in directing our focus on the superficial and bizzar sides of the Tibetan customs such as how often a typical Tibetan showers or what the origin of Lhasa came from, which were later proved to be all misleading. Fortunately, we were assigned to the 2nd guide - a Tibtan native who is fluent in Tibetan history and Tibetan culture. He says comparing to some metropolitan cities in China such as Shanghai, Tibet is at least 70 years behind economically. That makes how many years behind comparing to a major city in U.S. ? As I was trying to do the math in my head, I then heard the guide say no need to feel pity for the Tibetans because who are we to be judgemental. Tibetan people have freer and braver souls. We were told by the guide that a girl in ALi-a remote county in Tibet can set up a tent at night, inviting any passerby inside for the night as long as she likes him. It's nothing wrong in Tibetan's eyes. Try that anywhere else! We saw outside the city center, herds after herds of rattles roaming on the hills, and a few tents dotting along miles after miles of vast deserted platau in between. Wonder how lonely and how hard a Tibetan's life is. A typical rattler kills his time by chewing bags after bags of sunflower seeds for hours (their front teeth are usually zig-zagged by peeling sunflower shells like mine), and they talk to their sheep. The snow is cold and harsh, and the sun is burning and harsh . On the other hand, I saw old Tibetans in the temples worshipping their Gods for hours relentlessly. At my age, I could only do a few push-ups. I was amazed how humanly possible for those old Tibetans to continue on their worshipping routine like that. I understand it's a good form to have moments of quietness by yourself once a while. But imagine those Tibetans have lifetime of lonieless and hardship. Maybe they are richer spiritually by enduring them, therefore having a real understanding of suffering-a key element in Buddhism (note: these are all my pure worthless bullshit, not Tibet cow shit.). Though at times, it felt like coming home. After all, maybe Buddha nature is like original sin, it's in each one of us. Well, who knows?! But Tibet is now no longer a remote or a mystic land to me. I was asked after the trip whether Tibet was as what I imagined to be. I said yes because as much as I used Tibet as a refuge from the crowds or troubles in the past, my imagination only went as far as the imagination of the location. Now the imagination about Tibet after the trip is attached with those unforgetful images and memories. When the 20 some people in our group stepped out from the same bus, we saw the same thing but I believe what we experienced and took in were unique only to our own. That's the beauty about travel and especially travel to this place called Tibet.
Some insiders' scoops for Tibet travel:
- If possible, do not sign up with an organized local tourist group. It's an unwritten rule that the guides get kickbacks from the stores they take you to so they will arrange at least a couple of hours at the end of each day to visit at least 3 shopping desinations. Once you get to Lhasa, you can go to a car rental agency. You can rent a 4-wheel drive jeep including a local driver for a very reasonable price. If you are on a low budget, you can cut the price down by sharing the transportation with several other travelers. You will have no problem finding other travelers like you in Lhasa to form a small group (4-8 person group). That way, you will have far more freedom in your Tibet tour, and pay the same or less than you would have if you joined a large tourist group.
- Always have some small changes with you. When you go visit temples or take photos of some of the local Tibetans, you are expected to give a couple of RMB yuans. I don't particularly like this monetorized custom because it takes away some beauty and purity of the landscape and people in my eyes but everyone else does it. ng ihope this will change someday.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say. It should be a general rule in life, but admit it we all unconsciously give white lies due to social politeness, or use the middle-of-the-way "maybe" or "perhaps" to cover a harsh "no". Back home, countless times I have told a store salesperson I would be back to buy an item when felt pressurized but in actuality never had intention to buy that in the first place, nor have I returned in the end. It's politically correct and perfectly fine. However, be cautious using that white lie strategy in Tibet. Lesson learned. Example 1: As I got off our bus and headed towards the scenic Lake - Lake Namuso, a local donkey Tibetan vendor approached me, trying to loan me 5 minutes of his donkey for our photo shots in exchange of 5 RMB. We didn't want to do it but instead of a simple "no", I told him we were in a hurry to get to the lakeside but on the way back we would consider using his service. There were many bus loads of tourists heading to the same direction at that time, we thought he would approach other tourists and be completely too distracted by them to even notice our quiet exit on our way back to the bus. Of course, we were wrong. We underestimated the Tibetans' persistance. The same guy followed us all the way to the lake, waited us there and then chased after us as we were walking back to the bus. By then he wouldn't accept our "no"s for an answer any more and no way could we get away without either paying him without or with the service. We chose the latter. "You said...." he kept saying. He was right. We did say it. But God knows how many other things I have said in my life and yet never meant a word of them?!
I didn't want to join a tourist group if at all possible: those airport signs, tourist buses, guides holding the small flags followed closely by the tourists, and those "been there, done that" photo shots. But what are my choices with my limped foot and limited time? As they say, beggers can not be choosers. Luckily, I convinced my younger sister to go with me at the very last minute. We are just 2 years apart in age and we have always been close. We two traveled a few times together in China in the past so I knew we would have a lot of laughter along the way.
We did. It's easy to enjoy a trip with a pleasant travel partner like my sister and we don't have those "should" or "shouldn't" expectations. I hear from most people who have visited Tibet that a Tibet trip is a one-time shot, once visited, never gone back. I guess it would be a disappointing experience for one traveling there out of curiosity, looking for traditional Wow factor sceneries, or expecting standard level of comfort. For me, the more stories I heard and the more I saw: precious cow shit (no bullshit about it. Cow shit is used as building material, food and fuel), wedding rituals, different types of burial rituals out of which I witnessed one (the photos are too disturbing. I saved them for future deleting), I wished I had read more about Tibet before the trip, and I would go back again someday, perhaps spending more time and of course not with a tourist group again. The highest altitude we stood on was over 5190 meters (16867 feet). We were told that the border petrol soldiers over there were featured each year on CCTV to greet the whole nation during Chinese New Year's Eve because that's the guarded ground on earth closest to the sky. One guy on our bus had to know the elevation from the Tibetan guide every time before he decided whether to come out in case of platau/altitude sickness. That made me wonder whether plataue sickness is just a mental thing for most people. Our first guide is from my hometown Chongqing. He seemed to be only interested in directing our focus on the superficial and bizzar sides of the Tibetan customs such as how often a typical Tibetan showers or what the origin of Lhasa came from, which were later proved to be all misleading. Fortunately, we were assigned to the 2nd guide - a Tibtan native who is fluent in Tibetan history and Tibetan culture. He says comparing to some metropolitan cities in China such as Shanghai, Tibet is at least 70 years behind economically. That makes how many years behind comparing to a major city in U.S. ? As I was trying to do the math in my head, I then heard the guide say no need to feel pity for the Tibetans because who are we to be judgemental. Tibetan people have freer and braver souls. We were told by the guide that a girl in ALi-a remote county in Tibet can set up a tent at night, inviting any passerby inside for the night as long as she likes him. It's nothing wrong in Tibetan's eyes. Try that anywhere else! We saw outside the city center, herds after herds of rattles roaming on the hills, and a few tents dotting along miles after miles of vast deserted platau in between. Wonder how lonely and how hard a Tibetan's life is. A typical rattler kills his time by chewing bags after bags of sunflower seeds for hours (their front teeth are usually zig-zagged by peeling sunflower shells like mine), and they talk to their sheep. The snow is cold and harsh, and the sun is burning and harsh . On the other hand, I saw old Tibetans in the temples worshipping their Gods for hours relentlessly. At my age, I could only do a few push-ups. I was amazed how humanly possible for those old Tibetans to continue on their worshipping routine like that. I understand it's a good form to have moments of quietness by yourself once a while. But imagine those Tibetans have lifetime of lonieless and hardship. Maybe they are richer spiritually by enduring them, therefore having a real understanding of suffering-a key element in Buddhism (note: these are all my pure worthless bullshit, not Tibet cow shit.). Though at times, it felt like coming home. After all, maybe Buddha nature is like original sin, it's in each one of us. Well, who knows?! But Tibet is now no longer a remote or a mystic land to me. I was asked after the trip whether Tibet was as what I imagined to be. I said yes because as much as I used Tibet as a refuge from the crowds or troubles in the past, my imagination only went as far as the imagination of the location. Now the imagination about Tibet after the trip is attached with those unforgetful images and memories. When the 20 some people in our group stepped out from the same bus, we saw the same thing but I believe what we experienced and took in were unique only to our own. That's the beauty about travel and especially travel to this place called Tibet.
Some insiders' scoops for Tibet travel:
- If possible, do not sign up with an organized local tourist group. It's an unwritten rule that the guides get kickbacks from the stores they take you to so they will arrange at least a couple of hours at the end of each day to visit at least 3 shopping desinations. Once you get to Lhasa, you can go to a car rental agency. You can rent a 4-wheel drive jeep including a local driver for a very reasonable price. If you are on a low budget, you can cut the price down by sharing the transportation with several other travelers. You will have no problem finding other travelers like you in Lhasa to form a small group (4-8 person group). That way, you will have far more freedom in your Tibet tour, and pay the same or less than you would have if you joined a large tourist group.
- Always have some small changes with you. When you go visit temples or take photos of some of the local Tibetans, you are expected to give a couple of RMB yuans. I don't particularly like this monetorized custom because it takes away some beauty and purity of the landscape and people in my eyes but everyone else does it. ng ihope this will change someday.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say. It should be a general rule in life, but admit it we all unconsciously give white lies due to social politeness, or use the middle-of-the-way "maybe" or "perhaps" to cover a harsh "no". Back home, countless times I have told a store salesperson I would be back to buy an item when felt pressurized but in actuality never had intention to buy that in the first place, nor have I returned in the end. It's politically correct and perfectly fine. However, be cautious using that white lie strategy in Tibet. Lesson learned. Example 1: As I got off our bus and headed towards the scenic Lake - Lake Namuso, a local donkey Tibetan vendor approached me, trying to loan me 5 minutes of his donkey for our photo shots in exchange of 5 RMB. We didn't want to do it but instead of a simple "no", I told him we were in a hurry to get to the lakeside but on the way back we would consider using his service. There were many bus loads of tourists heading to the same direction at that time, we thought he would approach other tourists and be completely too distracted by them to even notice our quiet exit on our way back to the bus. Of course, we were wrong. We underestimated the Tibetans' persistance. The same guy followed us all the way to the lake, waited us there and then chased after us as we were walking back to the bus. By then he wouldn't accept our "no"s for an answer any more and no way could we get away without either paying him without or with the service. We chose the latter. "You said...." he kept saying. He was right. We did say it. But God knows how many other things I have said in my life and yet never meant a word of them?!
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