So You think you can dance?
I think I can! I think I can! "You can only if you drop a few pounds". That's the advice I often got from my dance coaches and my skinny male dance partners. When we did the pair dances, a lot of high-tech lifting and spinning were usually required. But because of my weight, which was considered heavy at my height, we had to change the choreographs to suit the liftbiliity. However, we always managed to pull the dances through. I always did our design institute proud, bringing home the 1st place or the 2nd place award every year in many regional dance competitions. One year, I and another girl danced ballet to the Swan Lake music. We were too shy to bare our bodies in the ballet outfit in front of thousands of audiences so we came up with the ingenius idea of wearing some white tank-tops and leggings underneath. We were both chubby to begin with. The white sweater padding didn't work in our favor. They magnified our chubbiness. After that performance, I was called a "fat swan" everywhere I went. That nickname has followed me for a few years. I didn't mind because a fat swan is still a swan after all. Dancing gave me a kind of high that nothing else could replace. It's an opposite from singing in my experience. With singing, the longer I sing, the less energy I have. After a couple of hours singing, I would almost drop dead. With dancing, the longer I dance, the more energetic I become. Dancing is like feeling music with body movement. Eventually, my dancing crave came to a full halt and I withdrew from it. But now and then when I heard any music piece I ever danced to, even when I was sitting still at the time, my imaginary body moved with every beat of the music. Oh. You "Dancing Queen", having the time of your life!
那么你以为你会跳舞?
我自以为我会! 我自以为我会! "你只要掉几斤肉就成。" 我的舞蹈指导们和跟我搭舞的瘦滴滴的男舞伴们都这样忠告我说。跳双人舞常要求不少高难度抬举和旋转动作。由于我的体重属重量级，我们不得已常改编舞蹈动作以适应我的体重。不过话又说回来，我们总算是不负众望，年年在比赛上夺一二等奖，为我们设计院增光。有一年我和另一女孩跳天鹅湖芭蕾双人舞。我们太害羞，不敢在上千人众目睽睽下坦露秀体，于是想出一绝招，在套芭蕾服前里面加白色毛线内衣及内裤。我俩本来就不苗条，加了这白毛线内衬更显臃肿。自打那次舞蹈后，我每到一处被人称"肥天鹅"。这一外号跟我好些年。我当年也不把这一打击放在心里。肥天鹅就肥天鹅。好歹是只天鹅。跳舞给我带来的兴奋劲是做其它事无以取代的。在我的经历中，跳舞与唱歌相反。唱歌是越唱越没劲。唱个把小时就奄奄一息了。跳舞是越跳越来劲，跳疯为止。舞蹈是用身体动作感受音乐。后来还是歇息了，完完全全放弃舞蹈。(突然间看破红尘，悟出台上跳的是疯子，台下看的是傻子)。不过事至如今，每每听到当年曾跳过的音乐，即使是静坐着，身体在想象中跟着每一下乐拍跳动。唉，你这一舞疯又在尽享生命的辉煌瞬间不是!
(舞蹈 "是否": 是否这次我将真的离开你，是否这次我将不再哭，是否应验了我曾说的那句话:情到深处人孤独。句句是我当年的亲身感受)
(舞蹈 "一无所有"。当年确实一无所有啊。) 这第二个又是什么陕北民间舞来着?
我自然是姿势最标准的穿黑裤袜的一个
(真的是垫着脚尖跳的。芭蕾舞鞋尖是木头。刚开始学时角角如针扎。我是右边那只肥天鹅)
Flower Exchange Festival
The tropic island Hainan Island I lived has a well-kept secret festival - flower exchange festival. It's known only to most locals. On the New Year's eve every year, lots of local Hainanese walk in the streets of one small town, holding some fresh flowers in their hands. The festival was originally a dating festival but gradually became a festival of general socializing. The rituals in this festival are to bring some nice flowers to attract some like-minded people who want to exchange their flowers with you. You start with greeting a stranger, asking for exchange of flowers. Usually in the meantime you also hand out your business card and introduce yourself, in hopes of making some business contacts or some new friends in this unique process. Flowers in this festival are the media. I went to the festival with a local Hainanese reporter with Hainan Daily and his camera crew who went to report this event. They took a few photos of me marching in the crowd. One of them, I believe the one below was the one that was published next day on the Hainan Daily paper. The festival didn't go as expected. Most people were grabbing others' flowers, shoved theirs to others, and then ran out of sight. A lot of the flowers got broken in the grabbing process. Flowers were supposed to be the media but they became the main focus to the new generation of people. Much to my grief, the tradition was broken in the flower exchange festival I attended. I came home that night with someone's broken flowers. Oh, my "Broken Flowers", missing the gentler time of the past!
换花节
我居住过的热带岛海南有一鲜人知晓的节日，那就是换花节。这一节日大多当地人才知道。每年除夕之夜，很多海南人手持鲜花在一小镇的大街穿行。此节日源于男女相亲节，逐渐演变为普通社交节日。主要的礼节是持上精美鲜花，招引爱花人上来跟你换花。通常以向陌生人问好开场，要求换花，顺带递上名片并自我介绍，以此独特形式期盼结交生意上或社会上的新朋友。鲜花只是作媒体用而已。我当时是跟着一海南报社记者和他的摄影帮一起去的。他们去的目的是报导这欢花节。他们拍了几张我在人群中大步流星的照片。其中这一张上了第二天的日报。节日跟预想的不一样。大多数人是抢花而不是换花。他们把你手上的鲜花夺走，把自己的鲜花塞给你后一扭烟就跑得无影无踪。不少鲜花在这抢夺过程中惨遭损害。鲜花已不像往日成为媒体，而是这新一代的主体。我为这换花节失传而暗自感伤。当晚持着完美的鲜花入场，捧着某一陌生人的破损花枝回家。唉，我这枝破损花肯是留恋过去的温柔不是!
7 Pounds
When I was 22-23 years old, I went to London with a group of the senior engineers for an intensive one-month training with Llyods. Part of my job was to take turns with another engineer to do the translations for the team. Before the trip, we were each given 100 RMB, a lot of money at the time, to buy ourselves some nice clothes. I spent half of it to have two Qipao dresses made, one in white silk and the other in some black material. I thought I'd better represent our country in the traditional dress in a foreign land. The patriotic choice of clothing turned out to be an unwise one. We were given daily allowance during the trip for everyday expenditures, such as 7 pounds for daily transportation. Any money saved is yours to keep. From the most junior level personnel me to the most senior level officials (the older woman from Beijing, the 3rd from left), we all avoided the convenient London subways. Instead we covered all the grounds with walking. Some of them knew the map so well in a few days that they could give directions to the local Londoners. Qipao only looks good with high heeled shoes. I swallowed a lot of ankle pains for the 7 pound saving. Another place of saving our allowance is from food. We all had many bags of instant noodles in our suitcases. At the immigration check points, when we were asked to open our suitcases, inside were all instant noodles. Funny but very cute. We all dressed nice and looked after each like sisters and brothers. I lost contact with all of them after I left the design institute. Oh our "7 Pounds" friends, wishing you well whenever you are!
七英镑
我22-23岁那年跟一组高工去伦敦参加一月Lloyd急训。我的部分职责跟另一会英文的工程师合作轮番作翻译。出国前，我们每人发给100元购置衣物费。当时100元可是不小一笔资金。我花了一半定作了两件旗袍，一件白色真丝旗袍，另一件是黑旗袍。我想出国嘛应穿传统服装代表咱中国。这一爱国择服结果一点不明智。我们在国外每天日常开销有生活补贴。比如说，交通费是每日7英镑。任何节约下的费用是属于自己的。于是乎，从最低等辈的我到最高官的北京中央机械局代表(中间左数第3的中年女士)不例外，我们放弃伦敦方便的地铁不坐，每天步行南北。我们中有几位出国数天后把地图摸得精通，可给当地人指路。旗袍只能配高跟鞋才好看。我为了每天省这七英镑，吞了不少角跟痛。另一省钱的地方是食物。我们每人的箱子里都装满了无数包方便面。每到一移民检查关口叫开箱检查，我们的箱打开后都遍箱方便面。可笑又可爱。我们在国外到哪儿都衣冠楚楚很得体，大家互相像兄弟姐妹关照团结。我离开设计院后和他们所有人都失去了联系。唉，我的七英镑朋友们，无论如今在哪方祝你们好!
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