Words to Live By

Quotes are over quoted. I mean it. Everyday I turn on Twitter, there are people out there who do nothing but quote someone else on Twitter. In the beginning, there were just a couple of them so I read their tweaked quotes every day. Pretty soon, the number of people became bigger. Eventually I could not keep up with the never-ending collection of wise and whimsical things people said for every occasion because some of them tweak quotes every single hour. It's not like I will think less of them if they run out of smart things to say. I don't even know them. I finally gave up on my quotes people. From Socrates to Confucius to unknown nobody, a lot has been said since the dawn of civilization. I might have remembered more quotes than an average American. If you don't know what I mean, here is a hint: We grew up reciting the Red Book. I have recently challenged myself and my husband to top a couple of my favorite quotes. I then realized we'd better quote someone else too because the best he could come up with to top my #1 quote below is "Shit happens.". Below are four of my favorite quotes, however subjective my choices are.

1. "This too, shall pass" - Unknown
These words have the ability to make a happy person sad, and visa versa. It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words. Its meaning to me is close to another my favorite Chinese saying "天下没有不散的宴席" (All good things must come to an end.) originated from the novel of "Dream of the Red Chamber", written in the18th century. These words have the effect of helping letting go of whatever we cling to. It's both sad and comforting to come to the realization that all things will come to pass, sooner or later.

2. "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" - Jesus
It's one of the seven sayings Jesus uttered at his crucifixion immediately before he died. He said it to the two murders to his left and to his right on the cross, and to Israelites and Jews who put him to the cross. I'm not a Christian, so I don't pretend I understand its meaning from the religious context. To me the saying has two parts. The 1st part of the saying is to point the source of all wong doings as: know not what they do - ignorance. The 2nd part is to ask forgiveness for all wrong doings because their ignorance. I remembered when I was a little kid in China, we occasionally went to a square where the criminals were all gathered for their hearings prior to their executions. Such an occasion was a public affair and watched by thousands of spectators. After a list of their crimes being read and death sentences being announced, they were taken to a truck, and then on to the execution field. A few times, I was just standing 8-10 feet from the criminals, who were in their early 20s because of their first horrific crimes. When their names were called upon and before they were taken away, they cried so hard that their tears touched their nose drippings. I sincerely believed at the time of their criminal acts they didn't know the extent of their crimes as well as the consequences. Had they known, they would not have done what they did. Sadly in their case, there were no second chances. Ignorance is a human condition. Understanding this makes forgiveness possible. "To understand is to forgive” -says Buddha. If I myself want to be forgiven for my wrong doings due to my ignorance, I should extend the same forgiveness to others. Forgiveness is humanity at its fair play. "It is in pardoning that we are pardoned." -Saint Francis of Assisi

3. "I don't know" - My then two-year old nephew
It was first amusing to hear it from my then two-year old nephew. He must have picked it up from some adults around him. I wondered who that was because that's a rare phrase in the adult world, where usually it's one corrects another, and one knows more than another. In the world full of smart asses, you know-it-alls please don't try to piss off us really know-it-alls. It's so refreshing hearing "I don't Know", this time from a two-year old. I could not help mimicking the baby talk for a while until my two-year-old dropped that phrase as his language skills progressed. And then I went back to my old self, the one who knows it all. There is an ancient Chinese saying "'知之为知之, 不知为不知, 是知也.”, meaning: "To say you know when you know, and to say you do not when you do not, that is knowledge. ". The opposite of knowledge is not ignorance but certainty/absolute. When you declare in absolute certainty that you have all the right answers to one god, culture, language, political or misc dogma, and when you therefore denounce anything else, you are not giving doubt a chance. "Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one. -Voltaire". Certainty is dangerous in that it does not allow room for doubts, curiosity, learning and mystery, the source of scientific discoveries and artistic aspirations. I remembered one time in my middle school math class, I asked my math teacher a question. My math teacher had no answer for it. She answered "I don't know." There was a long awkward pause in the classroom. Then the math teacher did something that was face saving to her at that instant. She did not know that I have remembered it ever since. She drew a small circle with her white chalk on the blackboard. She said inside the small circle it was your knowledge, and the darkness outside the circle was the unknown. Then she drew a bigger circle. She explained to us this was how it worked: 'The bigger the white circle, the more it touches the unknow darkness. Therefore the more you know, the more you don't know.' So here is a piece of the good news for us know-it-all smart asses, saying "I don't know" does not make you less smart. It just means...you don't know. Sigh of relief. Haha.

4. "Wherever you go, there you are" - Buddha
I looked it up online. Some people say the quotation is from Thomas a Kempis around 1440 AD. "So, the cross is always ready and waits for you everywhere. You cannot escape it no matter where you run, for wherever you go you are burdened with yourself. Wherever you go, there you are."  But most people agree it is originated from Buddha "Most every wakeful step, every mindful act is the direct path to awakening. Wherever you go, there you are.” There is a similar Chinese two world phrase 随缘, meaning "go with it (fate)". For someone who has always had his way in life, this saying is a hard one to grasp. For rest of us, we know some things can be changed while other things can not. Accepting the things we can not change saves us from the wars of no ending and no winning. Learn to surrender to our destined path. Wherever we are heading to, and whom we will come across on the way, it's not as simple as just up to us or our effort. It sounds passive but if you are no longer in your twenties and thirties, you will come to appreciate the freedom from this active "giving up". Surrendering to voices is listening; Surrendering to differences is accepting; Surrendering to yourself is being comfortable in your own skin; and surrendering to war is peace (ok only if winning is impossible). Surrender to your chosen path. "Surrender to the flow.”- Mike Gordon