FFF - Fuck Facebook Forever

"There were times when he could not read the face he had studied so long, and when this lonely girl was a greater mystery to him than any women of the world...” Charles Dickens (1812-1870).


One and half centuries later....


"Dear Charles Dickens:

This is how the story ends: The boy went online and Googled that girl. He found her on Facebook. The boy needed to study no longer.
The End."

Things could have been worse if that girl turned out to be one of us on Facebook:

The Friendly Friends - We don't know you at all but we invite you to be our friends anyway.

The Face Collectors - Our hobby used to be stamp collecting. We had a stamp book. We've recently switched it to face collecting. We started collecting faces and now we have a Facebook. We never do anything on Facebook besides collecting faces.

The Liker’s - We are a bunch of positive thinkers. We like. We never dislike. By the way, it's the Facebook spirit: "You shall only like; You shall not dislike". One post received our 5 "like"s minutes after it's posted and it read "I just went to my bathroom".

The Oversharers - We share and overshare what we eat, where we go and how we think. We really care what you don't care and have no idea about, us, our kids, our grandkids, our great grandkids, our great great grand kids, our house, our dogs, our cats...

The Inviters - We invite you to our events 10 years from now, five thousand miles from here. You: Please RSVP.

The Suggestors - We have become a fan of our villages. Therefore we suggest you be a fan too.

The Noblers - We are in it only for the cause. As long as God lives, we will be on Facebook. The day when Obama quits the presidency, we will quit Facebook. Amen!

The Exhibitionists - We make a public display of our private matters. We proclaim "I love you!" on someone's newsfeeds just in case others don't know.

The Equal Opportunists - It's an equal opportunity out there for us. Think you have a special bond with us? It was a thing of past. We are now sharing those little things we used to share only with you with our other 2000 Facebook friends.

The Gamers - There are many hidden sides of us you have not seen us in real life. We are farmers, gangsters, pillow fighters, zoo keepers...

The Smart Ones - We have done our IQ tests consisting of 4 or 5 questions. We are convinced with our test results enough to publish our scores. The scores indicate we are genius.

The Horoscopers - We publish our daily horoscope with the lucky hour of the day. We really believe in those horoscopes. According to the horoscopes, our lucky hours are sometimes midnight or 3:00 in the morning. No wonder we didn't get the luck: We slept through it. Let's stay awake during our daily lucky hour from now on then.

The Movie Stars - We have just published the result of the quiz "which movie star do I look like?". The result is Marilyn Monroe or Demi Moore. We've forgotten this is Facebook and we have previously posted our faces.

The Group Thinkers - We can not think alone. Please comment so we can do some group thinking.

The Visibles - We refuse to be invisible. We need to be seen. We upload our photos from our cell phones wherever we go.

The Taggers - You have spent your whole life trying so hard to preserve your delicate image. You've painstakingly selected and deselected which photos to post on Facebook. With our one tag, it's all over.


FFF - Fuck Facebook Forever!