"There were times when he could not read the face he had studied so long, and when this lonely girl was a greater mystery to him than any women of the world...” Charles Dickens (1812-1870).
One and half centuries later....
"Dear Charles Dickens:
This is how the story ends: The boy went online and Googled that girl. He found her on Facebook. The boy needed to study no longer.
The End."
Things could have been worse if that girl turned out to be one of us on Facebook:
The Friendly Friends - We don't know you at all but we invite you to be our friends anyway.
The Face Collectors - Our hobby used to be stamp collecting. We had a stamp book. We've recently switched it to face collecting. We started collecting faces and now we have a Facebook. We never do anything on Facebook besides collecting faces.
The Liker’s - We are a bunch of positive thinkers. We like. We never dislike. By the way, it's the Facebook spirit: "You shall only like; You shall not dislike". One post received our 5 "like"s minutes after it's posted and it read "I just went to my bathroom".
The Oversharers - We share and overshare what we eat, where we go and how we think. We really care what you don't care and have no idea about, us, our kids, our grandkids, our great grandkids, our great great grand kids, our house, our dogs, our cats...
The Inviters - We invite you to our events 10 years from now, five thousand miles from here. You: Please RSVP.
The Suggestors - We have become a fan of our villages. Therefore we suggest you be a fan too.
The Noblers - We are in it only for the cause. As long as God lives, we will be on Facebook. The day when Obama quits the presidency, we will quit Facebook. Amen!
The Exhibitionists - We make a public display of our private matters. We proclaim "I love you!" on someone's newsfeeds just in case others don't know.
The Equal Opportunists - It's an equal opportunity out there for us. Think you have a special bond with us? It was a thing of past. We are now sharing those little things we used to share only with you with our other 2000 Facebook friends.
The Gamers - There are many hidden sides of us you have not seen us in real life. We are farmers, gangsters, pillow fighters, zoo keepers...
The Smart Ones - We have done our IQ tests consisting of 4 or 5 questions. We are convinced with our test results enough to publish our scores. The scores indicate we are genius.
The Horoscopers - We publish our daily horoscope with the lucky hour of the day. We really believe in those horoscopes. According to the horoscopes, our lucky hours are sometimes midnight or 3:00 in the morning. No wonder we didn't get the luck: We slept through it. Let's stay awake during our daily lucky hour from now on then.
The Movie Stars - We have just published the result of the quiz "which movie star do I look like?". The result is Marilyn Monroe or Demi Moore. We've forgotten this is Facebook and we have previously posted our faces.
The Group Thinkers - We can not think alone. Please comment so we can do some group thinking.
The Visibles - We refuse to be invisible. We need to be seen. We upload our photos from our cell phones wherever we go.
The Taggers - You have spent your whole life trying so hard to preserve your delicate image. You've painstakingly selected and deselected which photos to post on Facebook. With our one tag, it's all over.
FFF - Fuck Facebook Forever!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
24 - A Day's Full Account with the Birds' Nest
Previously on 24
In the morning, I found a bundle of soft moss on the front deck behind my newly built climbing rose trellis. I thought it was brought by the wind. I cleaned up the mess. In the afternoon after I got back from work, I checked on the deck, the little moss turned into circular bedding. By this time I realized it was the birds trying to build a bird nest. The planet earth is over-populated with people but not birds. I've always enjoyed the birds and their singing. Go ahead having more babies and bringing on your family symphony. However, this time their nest was in encrochment with mine. I demolished theirs.
Next Day
- 8:30am
I opened the front door. The birds just built a new nest on the same spot last night. Darn it. I don't want to be mean but....(Simon says). If you push me too hard, I will have to add you to my list of enemies in combat, in the same category as the other cute enemies, you know, deer, frogs…
- 8:35:am
The birds flew in. Male bird: "What the heck? Our nest is gone again, the third time.Where is the nest we spent the whole night building?" Female: "Sure you remember the place right? Should we stop and ask for directions from other birds around us" Male bird: "I don't ask for directions. I swear in our future children's lives, it's here.".
-12:00pm
I opened the door. The nest was built again. You stupid birds. Don’t you know you are wasting you time building here?! Has it ever occurred to you the reason why your nest kept disappearing was that someone didn't like it here? If you were smart enough to understand signage, I could even use some of my real estate arrow signs to redirect you to a comfy site in the woods a few feet away I found for you. If I had a surveillance camera, I would probably just let you had your way so I could make myself a Discovery Channel, but I didn't!
- 12:05pm
The birds flew back with more building materials. As soon as they figured out they had the right place this time, and all along, they knew it was not an accident. It was a terrorist act! Female bird: "We should not waste our time. Let's find another building site.”. Male bird: "We will not give in to terrorism. This is the place we will call home! Let's get busy."
- 5:30pm
It looked like a solid nest. I figured if I had come home a little later, the female bird would have been in labor. By then I would not have had heart to do anything because despite my meanness, 'I don't have a wooden heart'. I rushed to finish the demo work. It started to feel like racing against the clock with the birds. Jack Bauer (played by me on this episode) was on the mission.
- 5:35pm
The birds saw me. Male bird: "It was her, the terrorist! All the time we thought she was our friend. She fooled us as an avid bird watcher but in fact she was just spying on us all these time!" Female bird: "I feel the babies kicking. We are running out of time" Male bird: "There is no negotiation. Let's try again. Let's show her our determination and persistence. Maybe she will finally give up.".
- 6:00pm
I found several fresh moss on the front deck again. It was an easier cleanup thanks to my timely check.
- 6:02pm
The birds were really pissed and frustrated. I heard them chirping loudly. Made no mistake about it. They were not singing. Male bird: "The bitch did it, again!". Female bird: "She is more determined than us. Let's go. I beg you please for our babies' sake.". The male bird finally gave in to the female bird’s plead.
- 8:00am
I stepped out in my pajama. The desk was as clean as I last cleaned it. I was relieved, and tormented at the same time. How I admired the birds' persistence and amazing engineering feats.I couldn't help thinking if we have half of their persistence, what kind of feats we can achieve.
The healthy baby birds were delivered in the emergency room completed just in time, somewhere else. I hope so. I really hope so.
In the morning, I found a bundle of soft moss on the front deck behind my newly built climbing rose trellis. I thought it was brought by the wind. I cleaned up the mess. In the afternoon after I got back from work, I checked on the deck, the little moss turned into circular bedding. By this time I realized it was the birds trying to build a bird nest. The planet earth is over-populated with people but not birds. I've always enjoyed the birds and their singing. Go ahead having more babies and bringing on your family symphony. However, this time their nest was in encrochment with mine. I demolished theirs.
Next Day
- 8:30am
I opened the front door. The birds just built a new nest on the same spot last night. Darn it. I don't want to be mean but....(Simon says). If you push me too hard, I will have to add you to my list of enemies in combat, in the same category as the other cute enemies, you know, deer, frogs…
- 8:35:am
The birds flew in. Male bird: "What the heck? Our nest is gone again, the third time.Where is the nest we spent the whole night building?" Female: "Sure you remember the place right? Should we stop and ask for directions from other birds around us" Male bird: "I don't ask for directions. I swear in our future children's lives, it's here.".
-12:00pm
- 12:05pm
The birds flew back with more building materials. As soon as they figured out they had the right place this time, and all along, they knew it was not an accident. It was a terrorist act! Female bird: "We should not waste our time. Let's find another building site.”. Male bird: "We will not give in to terrorism. This is the place we will call home! Let's get busy."
- 5:30pm
- 5:35pm
The birds saw me. Male bird: "It was her, the terrorist! All the time we thought she was our friend. She fooled us as an avid bird watcher but in fact she was just spying on us all these time!" Female bird: "I feel the babies kicking. We are running out of time" Male bird: "There is no negotiation. Let's try again. Let's show her our determination and persistence. Maybe she will finally give up.".
- 6:00pm
- 6:02pm
The birds were really pissed and frustrated. I heard them chirping loudly. Made no mistake about it. They were not singing. Male bird: "The bitch did it, again!". Female bird: "She is more determined than us. Let's go. I beg you please for our babies' sake.". The male bird finally gave in to the female bird’s plead.
- 8:00am
I stepped out in my pajama. The desk was as clean as I last cleaned it. I was relieved, and tormented at the same time. How I admired the birds' persistence and amazing engineering feats.I couldn't help thinking if we have half of their persistence, what kind of feats we can achieve.
The healthy baby birds were delivered in the emergency room completed just in time, somewhere else. I hope so. I really hope so.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Words to Live By
Quotes are over quoted. I mean it. Everyday I turn on Twitter, there are people out there who do nothing but quote someone else on Twitter. In the beginning, there were just a couple of them so I read their tweaked quotes every day. Pretty soon, the number of people became bigger. Eventually I could not keep up with the never-ending collection of wise and whimsical things people said for every occasion because some of them tweak quotes every single hour. It's not like I will think less of them if they run out of smart things to say. I don't even know them. I finally gave up on my quotes people. From Socrates to Confucius to unknown nobody, a lot has been said since the dawn of civilization. I might have remembered more quotes than an average American. If you don't know what I mean, here is a hint: We grew up reciting the Red Book. I have recently challenged myself and my husband to top a couple of my favorite quotes. I then realized we'd better quote someone else too because the best he could come up with to top my #1 quote below is "Shit happens.". Below are four of my favorite quotes, however subjective my choices are.
1. "This too, shall pass" - Unknown
These words have the ability to make a happy person sad, and visa versa. It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words. Its meaning to me is close to another my favorite Chinese saying "天下没有不散的宴席" (All good things must come to an end.) originated from the novel of "Dream of the Red Chamber", written in the18th century. These words have the effect of helping letting go of whatever we cling to. It's both sad and comforting to come to the realization that all things will come to pass, sooner or later.
2. "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" - Jesus
It's one of the seven sayings Jesus uttered at his crucifixion immediately before he died. He said it to the two murders to his left and to his right on the cross, and to Israelites and Jews who put him to the cross. I'm not a Christian, so I don't pretend I understand its meaning from the religious context. To me the saying has two parts. The 1st part of the saying is to point the source of all wong doings as: know not what they do - ignorance. The 2nd part is to ask forgiveness for all wrong doings because their ignorance. I remembered when I was a little kid in China, we occasionally went to a square where the criminals were all gathered for their hearings prior to their executions. Such an occasion was a public affair and watched by thousands of spectators. After a list of their crimes being read and death sentences being announced, they were taken to a truck, and then on to the execution field. A few times, I was just standing 8-10 feet from the criminals, who were in their early 20s because of their first horrific crimes. When their names were called upon and before they were taken away, they cried so hard that their tears touched their nose drippings. I sincerely believed at the time of their criminal acts they didn't know the extent of their crimes as well as the consequences. Had they known, they would not have done what they did. Sadly in their case, there were no second chances. Ignorance is a human condition. Understanding this makes forgiveness possible. "To understand is to forgive” -says Buddha. If I myself want to be forgiven for my wrong doings due to my ignorance, I should extend the same forgiveness to others. Forgiveness is humanity at its fair play. "It is in pardoning that we are pardoned." -Saint Francis of Assisi
3. "I don't know" - My then two-year old nephew
It was first amusing to hear it from my then two-year old nephew. He must have picked it up from some adults around him. I wondered who that was because that's a rare phrase in the adult world, where usually it's one corrects another, and one knows more than another. In the world full of smart asses, you know-it-alls please don't try to piss off us really know-it-alls. It's so refreshing hearing "I don't Know", this time from a two-year old. I could not help mimicking the baby talk for a while until my two-year-old dropped that phrase as his language skills progressed. And then I went back to my old self, the one who knows it all. There is an ancient Chinese saying "'知之为知之, 不知为不知, 是知也.”, meaning: "To say you know when you know, and to say you do not when you do not, that is knowledge. ". The opposite of knowledge is not ignorance but certainty/absolute. When you declare in absolute certainty that you have all the right answers to one god, culture, language, political or misc dogma, and when you therefore denounce anything else, you are not giving doubt a chance. "Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one. -Voltaire". Certainty is dangerous in that it does not allow room for doubts, curiosity, learning and mystery, the source of scientific discoveries and artistic aspirations. I remembered one time in my middle school math class, I asked my math teacher a question. My math teacher had no answer for it. She answered "I don't know." There was a long awkward pause in the classroom. Then the math teacher did something that was face saving to her at that instant. She did not know that I have remembered it ever since. She drew a small circle with her white chalk on the blackboard. She said inside the small circle it was your knowledge, and the darkness outside the circle was the unknown. Then she drew a bigger circle. She explained to us this was how it worked: 'The bigger the white circle, the more it touches the unknow darkness. Therefore the more you know, the more you don't know.' So here is a piece of the good news for us know-it-all smart asses, saying "I don't know" does not make you less smart. It just means...you don't know. Sigh of relief. Haha.
4. "Wherever you go, there you are" - Buddha
I looked it up online. Some people say the quotation is from Thomas a Kempis around 1440 AD. "So, the cross is always ready and waits for you everywhere. You cannot escape it no matter where you run, for wherever you go you are burdened with yourself. Wherever you go, there you are." But most people agree it is originated from Buddha "Most every wakeful step, every mindful act is the direct path to awakening. Wherever you go, there you are.” There is a similar Chinese two world phrase 随缘, meaning "go with it (fate)". For someone who has always had his way in life, this saying is a hard one to grasp. For rest of us, we know some things can be changed while other things can not. Accepting the things we can not change saves us from the wars of no ending and no winning. Learn to surrender to our destined path. Wherever we are heading to, and whom we will come across on the way, it's not as simple as just up to us or our effort. It sounds passive but if you are no longer in your twenties and thirties, you will come to appreciate the freedom from this active "giving up". Surrendering to voices is listening; Surrendering to differences is accepting; Surrendering to yourself is being comfortable in your own skin; and surrendering to war is peace (ok only if winning is impossible). Surrender to your chosen path. "Surrender to the flow.”- Mike Gordon
1. "This too, shall pass" - Unknown
These words have the ability to make a happy person sad, and visa versa. It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words. Its meaning to me is close to another my favorite Chinese saying "天下没有不散的宴席" (All good things must come to an end.) originated from the novel of "Dream of the Red Chamber", written in the18th century. These words have the effect of helping letting go of whatever we cling to. It's both sad and comforting to come to the realization that all things will come to pass, sooner or later.
2. "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do" - Jesus
It's one of the seven sayings Jesus uttered at his crucifixion immediately before he died. He said it to the two murders to his left and to his right on the cross, and to Israelites and Jews who put him to the cross. I'm not a Christian, so I don't pretend I understand its meaning from the religious context. To me the saying has two parts. The 1st part of the saying is to point the source of all wong doings as: know not what they do - ignorance. The 2nd part is to ask forgiveness for all wrong doings because their ignorance. I remembered when I was a little kid in China, we occasionally went to a square where the criminals were all gathered for their hearings prior to their executions. Such an occasion was a public affair and watched by thousands of spectators. After a list of their crimes being read and death sentences being announced, they were taken to a truck, and then on to the execution field. A few times, I was just standing 8-10 feet from the criminals, who were in their early 20s because of their first horrific crimes. When their names were called upon and before they were taken away, they cried so hard that their tears touched their nose drippings. I sincerely believed at the time of their criminal acts they didn't know the extent of their crimes as well as the consequences. Had they known, they would not have done what they did. Sadly in their case, there were no second chances. Ignorance is a human condition. Understanding this makes forgiveness possible. "To understand is to forgive” -says Buddha. If I myself want to be forgiven for my wrong doings due to my ignorance, I should extend the same forgiveness to others. Forgiveness is humanity at its fair play. "It is in pardoning that we are pardoned." -Saint Francis of Assisi
3. "I don't know" - My then two-year old nephew
It was first amusing to hear it from my then two-year old nephew. He must have picked it up from some adults around him. I wondered who that was because that's a rare phrase in the adult world, where usually it's one corrects another, and one knows more than another. In the world full of smart asses, you know-it-alls please don't try to piss off us really know-it-alls. It's so refreshing hearing "I don't Know", this time from a two-year old. I could not help mimicking the baby talk for a while until my two-year-old dropped that phrase as his language skills progressed. And then I went back to my old self, the one who knows it all. There is an ancient Chinese saying "'知之为知之, 不知为不知, 是知也.”, meaning: "To say you know when you know, and to say you do not when you do not, that is knowledge. ". The opposite of knowledge is not ignorance but certainty/absolute. When you declare in absolute certainty that you have all the right answers to one god, culture, language, political or misc dogma, and when you therefore denounce anything else, you are not giving doubt a chance. "Doubt is not a pleasant mental state, but certainty is a ridiculous one. -Voltaire". Certainty is dangerous in that it does not allow room for doubts, curiosity, learning and mystery, the source of scientific discoveries and artistic aspirations. I remembered one time in my middle school math class, I asked my math teacher a question. My math teacher had no answer for it. She answered "I don't know." There was a long awkward pause in the classroom. Then the math teacher did something that was face saving to her at that instant. She did not know that I have remembered it ever since. She drew a small circle with her white chalk on the blackboard. She said inside the small circle it was your knowledge, and the darkness outside the circle was the unknown. Then she drew a bigger circle. She explained to us this was how it worked: 'The bigger the white circle, the more it touches the unknow darkness. Therefore the more you know, the more you don't know.' So here is a piece of the good news for us know-it-all smart asses, saying "I don't know" does not make you less smart. It just means...you don't know. Sigh of relief. Haha.
4. "Wherever you go, there you are" - Buddha
I looked it up online. Some people say the quotation is from Thomas a Kempis around 1440 AD. "So, the cross is always ready and waits for you everywhere. You cannot escape it no matter where you run, for wherever you go you are burdened with yourself. Wherever you go, there you are." But most people agree it is originated from Buddha "Most every wakeful step, every mindful act is the direct path to awakening. Wherever you go, there you are.” There is a similar Chinese two world phrase 随缘, meaning "go with it (fate)". For someone who has always had his way in life, this saying is a hard one to grasp. For rest of us, we know some things can be changed while other things can not. Accepting the things we can not change saves us from the wars of no ending and no winning. Learn to surrender to our destined path. Wherever we are heading to, and whom we will come across on the way, it's not as simple as just up to us or our effort. It sounds passive but if you are no longer in your twenties and thirties, you will come to appreciate the freedom from this active "giving up". Surrendering to voices is listening; Surrendering to differences is accepting; Surrendering to yourself is being comfortable in your own skin; and surrendering to war is peace (ok only if winning is impossible). Surrender to your chosen path. "Surrender to the flow.”- Mike Gordon
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Sweet and Lowdown of Being a Real Estate Agent
The past few days have been crazy. I drove back and forth to Bellevue several times to sell houses there. "Best to wear out than to rust out" is my motto when it comes to business. I welcome any wear and tear opportunities in this economy. Not a morning person, I have to have an alarm clock to wake me up before 8:30am. Sure I missed many sunrises but I stayed awake for sunsets. The only exception to that rule is if you win a jackpot and need me out to write an offer for your next multi-million dollar house, feel free to wake me up at any hour: 4:00am is not too early for that matter. Real estate business is like a tropic rainfall: it's either none or a downpour. If real estate agents aren't responding to the highs and lows, and the twists and turns of the real estate market, they could miss opportunities, big time. So when the phone is ringing, they drop everything they are doing and are supposed to be doing next, to answer the higher calling from commissions. They wear out their bodies and their car tires. The question remains: Will they catch a little sunshine at the end of the downpour, ever? Here are some real estate rules I have concluded through my 6 year real estate practice.
- 10% rule. There is a famous 10% rule in real estate, i.e. 10% of the agents do 90% of the agents' work. Consequently, 10% of the agents make 90% of agents' earnings. It's one of the winner-takes-it-all fields. The published median expected salary for a typical real estate sales agent in the United States is $35,994. Real estate agents are self-employed, which means they are on their own, insurance and retirement wise. Good luck living on that entry-level salary being self-employed. There are starving real estate agents in any kind of market. Their almost ground-level property signs -"Price Reduced"+"New Price"+"Price Improved" need some ground clearance to add another rider for themselves "Will sell for food". If you don't happen to know everyone in town, to have either the banks (repos) or the builders (new constructions) on your side, you are destined to play the typical real estate game, which is "Who wants to be the next thousandnaire?"
- 24/7 rule. There are some part-timers out there who need an added income to their existing retirement, or to their regular 9-5 jobs; there are some builders and investors out there who also get themselves agent licenses to avoid paying commissions. Then there are your average housewives, high school graduates, college dropouts, and recent lay-offs. Real estate is one of those fields where it's too easy to get in and too many are in, and where anyone can get a real estate license and call it a profession. In the vast ocean of real estate agents, food is scarce; Sharks swim with shrimps -The stakes are high. If they want to be one of the top 10% agents and make a good living out of this profession, they'll have to go in full-time. When I say full-time, I mean 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. When their family needs them, their clients need them more. On any given evenings, weekends, holidays and vacations, be prepared to be on call, no matter where and when.
- Ass rule. To keep it short, it's all thing asses. In order to get their heads above the water, real estate agents have to give an ass to all that's required of them to build their clientele base. In order to stay above the water, they can not do a half-ass job. It's either no ass or full ass. In addition, they have to know how to kiss ass while kick ass.
- Attorney rule. Real estate agents are often viewed as money grubbing like attorneys, stock brokers, or bankers. It's the single most injustice to the real estate agents because 1) attorney, stock brokers or bankers don't pay it forward as real estate agents do (literally, real estate agents have to front their time and pockets for any potential earnings). 2) Attorneys and the alike get paid no matter what the results are. Whether or not they reach a deal or no deal in the end, is not part of their pay deal. Whereas, for real estate agents, deal or no deal is a big deal. Real estate agents only get paid if a deal is successfully closed. If not, they don't get a dime, not even a word of consolation from their clients. They consider themselves lucky if they don't get blamed at. 3) No one expects his attorney to give a rate discount or to provide free consultations but in real estate everyone expects real estate agents discount their commissions. When there is a concession to be made, the first corner to cut is real estate agents' commissions. Sadly, there are few desperate real estate agents (formerly Desperate Housewives on TV) who will cut their own throat just to get a listing or close a sale. I don't know why real estate offices are often viewed by public as visitor information centers. Not to mention there are those real estate users who use real estate agents as if there were public service representatives or tour guides. They seem to forget that real estate agents might have kids to feed and mortgage to pay, just like them. Real estate business is their livelihood. Most of the real estate agents will probably happily work for free if they can live for free. Next time when someone compares you an agent to an attorney, I suggest that you send him an attorney equivalent rate bill for all your work hours. That's what an attorney would do. If real estate agents can not fight an uphill battle against their poor public reputation, they better live up to it, which I'm cetain it's not a bad living. Look at any attorneys. In despite of all the attorney jokes and the general public concensus, they hold their heads high and their rates higher. Real estate agents should learn from attorneys if they want to making a living in real estate industry. Here is my new tagline for real estate agents: Think real estate agents, think attorneys.
- 10% rule. There is a famous 10% rule in real estate, i.e. 10% of the agents do 90% of the agents' work. Consequently, 10% of the agents make 90% of agents' earnings. It's one of the winner-takes-it-all fields. The published median expected salary for a typical real estate sales agent in the United States is $35,994. Real estate agents are self-employed, which means they are on their own, insurance and retirement wise. Good luck living on that entry-level salary being self-employed. There are starving real estate agents in any kind of market. Their almost ground-level property signs -"Price Reduced"+"New Price"+"Price Improved" need some ground clearance to add another rider for themselves "Will sell for food". If you don't happen to know everyone in town, to have either the banks (repos) or the builders (new constructions) on your side, you are destined to play the typical real estate game, which is "Who wants to be the next thousandnaire?"
- 24/7 rule. There are some part-timers out there who need an added income to their existing retirement, or to their regular 9-5 jobs; there are some builders and investors out there who also get themselves agent licenses to avoid paying commissions. Then there are your average housewives, high school graduates, college dropouts, and recent lay-offs. Real estate is one of those fields where it's too easy to get in and too many are in, and where anyone can get a real estate license and call it a profession. In the vast ocean of real estate agents, food is scarce; Sharks swim with shrimps -The stakes are high. If they want to be one of the top 10% agents and make a good living out of this profession, they'll have to go in full-time. When I say full-time, I mean 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. When their family needs them, their clients need them more. On any given evenings, weekends, holidays and vacations, be prepared to be on call, no matter where and when.
- Ass rule. To keep it short, it's all thing asses. In order to get their heads above the water, real estate agents have to give an ass to all that's required of them to build their clientele base. In order to stay above the water, they can not do a half-ass job. It's either no ass or full ass. In addition, they have to know how to kiss ass while kick ass.
- Attorney rule. Real estate agents are often viewed as money grubbing like attorneys, stock brokers, or bankers. It's the single most injustice to the real estate agents because 1) attorney, stock brokers or bankers don't pay it forward as real estate agents do (literally, real estate agents have to front their time and pockets for any potential earnings). 2) Attorneys and the alike get paid no matter what the results are. Whether or not they reach a deal or no deal in the end, is not part of their pay deal. Whereas, for real estate agents, deal or no deal is a big deal. Real estate agents only get paid if a deal is successfully closed. If not, they don't get a dime, not even a word of consolation from their clients. They consider themselves lucky if they don't get blamed at. 3) No one expects his attorney to give a rate discount or to provide free consultations but in real estate everyone expects real estate agents discount their commissions. When there is a concession to be made, the first corner to cut is real estate agents' commissions. Sadly, there are few desperate real estate agents (formerly Desperate Housewives on TV) who will cut their own throat just to get a listing or close a sale. I don't know why real estate offices are often viewed by public as visitor information centers. Not to mention there are those real estate users who use real estate agents as if there were public service representatives or tour guides. They seem to forget that real estate agents might have kids to feed and mortgage to pay, just like them. Real estate business is their livelihood. Most of the real estate agents will probably happily work for free if they can live for free. Next time when someone compares you an agent to an attorney, I suggest that you send him an attorney equivalent rate bill for all your work hours. That's what an attorney would do. If real estate agents can not fight an uphill battle against their poor public reputation, they better live up to it, which I'm cetain it's not a bad living. Look at any attorneys. In despite of all the attorney jokes and the general public concensus, they hold their heads high and their rates higher. Real estate agents should learn from attorneys if they want to making a living in real estate industry. Here is my new tagline for real estate agents: Think real estate agents, think attorneys.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Come On Baby Light My Fire
That was the plan. It should be an easy plan to execute. We have built a brick fire pit a few years ago. Next to the fire pit, a big pile of chopped logs from us falling the trees on the property are neatly lined up painstakingly by me. They are an eyesore to the surrounding environment. We have offered the logs to our friends free of charge and some of our friends have expressed interest in taking them but none of them has acted. We figure we will have to burn them all this summer. It's just March. I know. But let's start a fire now.
I brought a long bench by the fire pit, preparing myself to a leisure afternoon around a warm fire into the night. Richard stacked a few logs in the middle of the fire pit and tried to light them. No luck. Then he sprayed some lighter fluid on the logs and threw a match inside the fire pit. The logs caught a big fire instantly and went strong for a couple of minutes, and then the flames went out leaving only the smokes rising from the blackened logs. He took out some of the bigger logs and chopped them to smaller pieces, and added some more Cedar wood because Alderwood is harder to ignite. After rearranging the stack, he tried lighting, aided by lighter fluid. All ended with the same result. "What happened?" I was just asking, not questioning. "I know my shit. I have done this a thousand times". He said. I know my math: many = 0; 100 = 10; So do the match. 1000 times is equalevant to, say 100 times. That's a lot even after the deductable. "Have you?" He asked (questioned). "Many times. I invented fire" I replied. I know my math as well as my history (I = We: Chinese).
We finally decided it was either because the logs were too wet, or there was too much moisture in the early spring air, there was no chance we could light a fire in this damn fire pit this afternoon.
We transitioned into the house. While settling tonight on the comfy sofa inside the house, I relived the short-lived flame in my mind, feeling the heat over my cheeks and ears against the cool air, watching the fire burning until the dying embers catching up with the stars in the starry night, and listening to the sound of the fire crackling, mixed with the coyotes' howling in the distance.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Nose knows...It's Spring!
Washington State had the mildest winter this year. We only got a few hours of snow for a couple of days the entire winter, during which time the snow flakes didn't even stack into any measurable snow. In early February, it started to look like spring, which is very unusual. Now, spring is showing its signs of full arrival: spring bulbs blooming into flowers, new shoots growing out of the trees, green grass breaking from the ground, and humming birds slapping their wings around their feeders...It's official: Spring is here!
Nose knows it too. My nose gets itchy, stuffy and running as we enter into March. Washington is the evergreen state. The thick evergreen landscape and the blooming floras bring up heavy pollens in spring. I'm so blessed in spring than in any other season. "Bless you" comes in double, triple and multiple every time I step outside.
So do eyes. They know it too. My eyes get dry, itchy and red. Forget about eye makeup in spring. The second I finish putting on wet mascara, I sneeze. They always happen in perfect sync. The mirror reflects a new eye shadow effect that resembles a pair of panda eyes. I hope one day a fashion forward designer should integret that effect into spring eye makeup fashion. Since I can not single-handedly start a new fashion trend, I have to face the world with my bare eyes. The only eye makeup kit I need in spring is eye drops. Burn ban is not in effect yet but be prepared to switch your song from "Smoke gets in your eyes" to "Pollen gets in your eyes" on every outdoor attempt. Gazing upon the flowers, I "cry me a river". Why so sad? You ask. Coz I'm so in touch with the nature. Eyes can't lie.
My mom in China told me some trivia about sneezing one time. She says at the moment when you sneeze, your heart actually stops beating. She also says the violent act of head shakes from frequent sneezing affects memory. No wonder I'm getting forgetful. It's a relief to know my short memory is caused by my sneezing, not by Alzheimer’s disease or mad cow disease as I suspected. My mom is not a doctor but she reads a lot of magazines and papers in her post-teaching retirement in China. I usually dismiss her source of information as being Chinese folklore. However, I believe she might be right about sneezing. I even want to add to that trivia: sneezing can cause deaf. My sneezing produces the sound of ear-shattering thunder which can rupture the eardrum and result in hearing loss. If I missed your phone calls, it was because either I was busy sneezing or I didn't hear the phone rings. God's truth.
Can't smell; can’t see; can't hear; and can’t remember. Spring, as a season of new life, turns me into seasonal disability. When I finally seek treatment in hospital, the doctors tell me: There is nothing wrong with you. It’s just spring fever. The symptoms come with spring season for some people. Funny I also came with spring - I was born in spring. On one spring day in old China, I broke out of my mother's womb. I smelt, saw, heard, and remembered (ok "remembered" is a stretch. Who knows, maybe subconsciously I remembered being slapped on the bottom at birth and that's why I have had an urge to strike back with sneezing every Spring ever since).
There is no need to check a calendar. I can tell Spring is here. My nose knows. I just love Spring - a season that I can feel with all my senses. Yeah, I have the Spring fever.
Nose knows it too. My nose gets itchy, stuffy and running as we enter into March. Washington is the evergreen state. The thick evergreen landscape and the blooming floras bring up heavy pollens in spring. I'm so blessed in spring than in any other season. "Bless you" comes in double, triple and multiple every time I step outside.
So do eyes. They know it too. My eyes get dry, itchy and red. Forget about eye makeup in spring. The second I finish putting on wet mascara, I sneeze. They always happen in perfect sync. The mirror reflects a new eye shadow effect that resembles a pair of panda eyes. I hope one day a fashion forward designer should integret that effect into spring eye makeup fashion. Since I can not single-handedly start a new fashion trend, I have to face the world with my bare eyes. The only eye makeup kit I need in spring is eye drops. Burn ban is not in effect yet but be prepared to switch your song from "Smoke gets in your eyes" to "Pollen gets in your eyes" on every outdoor attempt. Gazing upon the flowers, I "cry me a river". Why so sad? You ask. Coz I'm so in touch with the nature. Eyes can't lie.
My mom in China told me some trivia about sneezing one time. She says at the moment when you sneeze, your heart actually stops beating. She also says the violent act of head shakes from frequent sneezing affects memory. No wonder I'm getting forgetful. It's a relief to know my short memory is caused by my sneezing, not by Alzheimer’s disease or mad cow disease as I suspected. My mom is not a doctor but she reads a lot of magazines and papers in her post-teaching retirement in China. I usually dismiss her source of information as being Chinese folklore. However, I believe she might be right about sneezing. I even want to add to that trivia: sneezing can cause deaf. My sneezing produces the sound of ear-shattering thunder which can rupture the eardrum and result in hearing loss. If I missed your phone calls, it was because either I was busy sneezing or I didn't hear the phone rings. God's truth.
Can't smell; can’t see; can't hear; and can’t remember. Spring, as a season of new life, turns me into seasonal disability. When I finally seek treatment in hospital, the doctors tell me: There is nothing wrong with you. It’s just spring fever. The symptoms come with spring season for some people. Funny I also came with spring - I was born in spring. On one spring day in old China, I broke out of my mother's womb. I smelt, saw, heard, and remembered (ok "remembered" is a stretch. Who knows, maybe subconsciously I remembered being slapped on the bottom at birth and that's why I have had an urge to strike back with sneezing every Spring ever since).
There is no need to check a calendar. I can tell Spring is here. My nose knows. I just love Spring - a season that I can feel with all my senses. Yeah, I have the Spring fever.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Shrimp Spaghetti
In an effort to avoid such confusion in the future, I thought about putting together a home cooking recipe book - my kitchen Bible that contains all the food recipes I've tried and loved. So next time when I need inspiration in the kitchen, I can resort to that Bible to take me out of Egypt. Eventually, I need to have a separate site for my food recipes.
Here is a dish I have cooked many times before. Each time I changed the ingredients a little bit depending on what I had to work with at the time. They all turned out delicious. How could you go wrong with spaghettis as long as you don't use the usual red tomato sauce? No offense if you are a ketchup person. Ha-ha. I just like white sauce in my spaghettis. That attached photo was taken from the dish I made yesterday.
Ingredients:
- 1 lb thin spaghettis
- 1 pound raw headless shrimp. Skin off
- 3 teaspoon olive oil
- 1/8 tablespoon butter
- 1 tablespoon half and half milk
- 1 tablespoon white wine
- Four cloves of garlic, chopped
- One green pepper, chopped
- 4-6 mushrooms, sliced
- 3 green onion
- Cilantro
- 5-6 Sichuan pepper (prickly ash), optional
- Grounded black pepper
- Salt
Directions:
- Heat 1 teaspoon olive oil in a pan. Add chopped garlic and green pepper, stir until carmelized
- Add Sichuan pepper (optional). Add shrimp. Cook until shrimp turns color
- Add sliced mushroom.
- Add green onion and cilantro
- Put all the cooked shrimp mixture in a bowl
- Meanwhile, in a separate cooker, boil water to boil and add thin spaghetti.
- Cooked spaghetti to almost soft (about 10 minutes) in medium heat. Dump the cooked spaghetti in a drainer in the sink. Spray with cold water. Let it drain.
- In the empty pan you used to cook the shrimp, heat 2 teaspoon olive oil and butter, half/half milk and white wine under medium heat until simmering.
- Add the drained cooked thin spaghetti and mix well
- Add salt to taste
- Take them out to your serving plate
- Spread the cooked shrimp mixture on top of the spaghettis. Spread some grounded black pepper before serving.
The meal serves 4 if it's in a restaurant. At home it serves two.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
How to Decorate Easter Eggs at Home
Easter is almost here. It's decoration time! There are so many ways to decorate Easter eggs at home. If you want to paint on edible eggs, you'd better use food colorings. Otherwise any types of paint will do. Below are the photos of some of the Easter eggs I made last Easter. I will show you how. Read on.
What You Need:
- A dozen fresh chicken eggs in an egg container
- Water color paint
- Thin ribbons (easier with hard ribbons)
- A pair of small scissors
- A hair blower
Step by Step Instructions:
- Poke two tiny holes on the two opposite tips of each egg shell using one scissor blade.
- Blow air through one end of the egg using your mouth and allow the egg contents to flow out the other end.
- Let the emptied egg shell sit in the egg container to dry for at least 2-3 hours. It's very important to make sure no drips coming from the holes before you start to paint. Otherwise it will mess up your painting.
- Paint the egg shell according to the design of your desire. Some simple strap colors as a starter, or paint names on them. You can always use stenciles/stickers for cleaner and better results. They are not permanent artwork you'll have to hang in your living room all season long, or to be featured on a Martha Stewart's magazine cover. So they does not have to perfect. Just make them colorful and have fun with your hands.
- Air blow dry the painted egg. Place it back in the egg container. Let it air dry.
- If you want to add the hanging ribbons to the eggs, you will need to push the ribbon through the holes from one end to the other. Tie a cross at one end. Pull the ribbon straight and then tie the other end.
Remember the decorated Easter eggs are fragile. I find the best place to store them are the same egg container I got the eggs from.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Secret - Law of Attraction
One of my friends lent me the "The Secret" DVD the other day. 
Prior to watching the DVD, I was just instantly drawn to the icon image as shown on the left when I first saw it. As it turned out, my visual attraction led to the learning of the "Law of Attraction", a school of thought started from the book "Secret" written by an Australian television writer and producer Rhonda Bryne in 2006.
I still would like to read the book soon. So far, the video clips have resonated with me in the following aspects:
Prior to watching the DVD, I was just instantly drawn to the icon image as shown on the left when I first saw it. As it turned out, my visual attraction led to the learning of the "Law of Attraction", a school of thought started from the book "Secret" written by an Australian television writer and producer Rhonda Bryne in 2006. I still would like to read the book soon. So far, the video clips have resonated with me in the following aspects:
- Thoughts are energies. Energy attracts like energy.
- Every thought has a frequency. Thought becomes things. What you think about, you bring about.
- Everything coming to your life, you are attracted to it.
- What you resist persists. Always think what you want, not what you don't want.
- Feeling is the feedback mechanism for your thoughts.
- What you resist persists. Always think what you want, not what you don't want.
- Feeling is the feedback mechanism for your thoughts.
As with every school of thought, "The Secret" has its merits. At the very least, it promotes positive thinking. However, "The Secret" suggests that the infinite and resourceful universe do not fail to deliver what we want. We need not to be concerned about how it's done. Our only job is to think what we want and visualize our thoughts. I'm not convinced that thoughts alone will bring in results, as suggested by "The Secret". Maybe it's more of a chain reaction: Positive thinking triggers the attention in that direction, then further triggers the positive action, and finally the positive results. This positive chain reaction echoes three of the Buddhism's Noble Eightfold path: Right View; Right Action; and Right Livelihood. So "The Secret" is really not a new revelation since Buddhism is dated back to 6th century BC. Even in Buddhism, it calls for right action. That's more like it.
I don't know whether there is such a thing as "The Secret" from the universe (for the lack of better words, let's call it universe). If there is, I have a hunch it has to be revealed to me directly, not through a third party, such as the author and the publishers of "The Secret", who made a fortune out of the people who have believed in "The Secret".
I don't know whether there is such a thing as "The Secret" from the universe (for the lack of better words, let's call it universe). If there is, I have a hunch it has to be revealed to me directly, not through a third party, such as the author and the publishers of "The Secret", who made a fortune out of the people who have believed in "The Secret".
Monday, March 8, 2010
Mango Chicken Salad
If you are a meat-minded person like me, you need an entree (usually a warm cooked dish that contains some kind of meat ingredients) besides salad to call it a real meal. Salad is a side course in your dictionary. Even after you pig yourself out with their all-you-can-eat salad in an Olive Garden, you walk out the restaurant stuffed but unsatisfied. Your taste buds for meat are insatiable and they can not be fooled.Remember a few times when you ate out with your friends, after the waitress took your order, you overheard your friends ordering their vegetable salad. When their dishes were brought over to the table (For some reason, their food was always served before yours.), they poked their forks on the platefull of vegetables, making that crunching sound, a sign that they were really digging their meal. You wondered what in the world could make their salad more tastier than the steak you were about to receive. At the mouth level, you had no doubt you had made the right choice. At the head level, you were not quite sure, doubting whether you should have ordered a green salad like everyone else. You made a mental note that next time you would try salad instead of meat. You told yourself that you'd better start a healthy diet and also start exercising soon. Just before you were about to mentally denounce meat, the waitress brought out your sizzling hot steak order. Yeah. Diet; Exercise. Die anyway. The ends justify the means. At home, I have a decorative ceramic plate on my kitchen counter that reads "Eat what you want. Let the food fight it out inside". If that's the case, my food will have a better fighting chance. In the food chain of command, their food was what my food ate.
However, this salad which recipe I'm about to disclose changed my above salad belief. As it turned out, I made the salad a full course dinner one evening, and afterwards I was settled for the remainder of the night. I think part of the reason is that this salad dish does contain meat. After all, my integrity as a meat-eater is still preserved. The recipe for this salad is truly my creation because I just mixed and matched what was left over in my refrigerator one day. The odds that someone else has the same leftover in his/her refrigerator is almost zero. Of course, I'm aware that nothing can escape the internet scrutiny nowadays. Anything you've ever said or done, someone has perhaps said or done it before you, online. Without further adieu, here is the recipe:
Ingredients:
- Chicken thigh (1 thigh)
- Luttuce (1/4 of a whole luttuce). Cut into smaller pieces
- Sweat Onion (a few slices). Cut into thin slices
- Avocado (ripped, one). Smash it
- Mushroom (5 or 6). Slice it
- Cherry Belle (5-6 of them. It's a small round radish with red skin and white meat). Slice them
- Broccoli (3-4 heads)
- Mango (one). Cut to cubes or slices
Ingredients for Salad Dressing:
- Soy sauce (1 tablespoon)
- Apple Cider Vinegar (1 teaspoon)
- Honey (1 teaspoon)
- Sesame Oil (2 teaspoon)
- Sesame seeds (1/2 teaspoon)
Instructions:
- Chop the chicken thigh to cubes
- Pan fry the chicken cubes with a few drops of olive oil until golden brown
- In a separate large blow, Mix all the vegetable ingredients
- Pull salad dress in the vegetable mixture and mix well
- Add mango and cooked chicken cubes
Friday, March 5, 2010
Blogging on Blogging
I don’t know who invented this word blog. I googled the origin of blog everywhere including Wikipedia, all to no avail. One site suggests that the word blog takes from weblog: we(blog). However, I like to believe the word blog comes from blah log: (bl)ah+l(og). It's only fitting if that's how the word blog came into being.
Just as all the movies have ratings and some TV shows such as "24" and "No Reservations" have the "Viewer's discretion is required" warnings, here are some disclaimers about my blah logs - blogs:
- It's typing not writing. I don't have a typing certificate to prove it but I type relatively fast. My typing skills might have deteriorated over the years but even at the lowered speed (probably instead of 70 wpm, it's in the 50 wpm range), it's impossible to multi-task to include thinking. So I give away thinking to typing when I blog.
- "It’s not you. It’s me" – My blogs are for my own personal indulgings only. They represent partly my own opinions or thought flows at the time when I type, which may or may not evolve over time. Therefore, I can not solemnly swear I'm telling the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. I'm not interested in, nor qualified for taking upon the role of informing, inspiring, or educating you as the readers. If you dislike or disagree with anything I say in my blogs, remember I'm not blogging to you. It's me, myself and I that I blog to.
- I am not serious with blogs. I can not make myself serious, seriously. I am easily amused, even at the occasions where I'm not supposed to. That's why I've been afraid of attending funeral ceremonies since I was a child. Laughing was indeed an improper behavior at occasions like that but serious people do amuse me. I concluded that all my sufferings all boil down to the moments when I forget NOT to be too serious.
- Blah unlimited. I'm glad that blog is in the forum of unlimited monologue. Twitter is a form of monologue but it has a 140 character limit. Facebook also has the character limit. I don't think blogger sites have a length limit for a blog post. So far none of my blogs have been bumped unfinished in spite of the length. I have heard the saying "Brevity is the soul of wit". But for someone who is not aiming high for the soul or the wit, length is all I've got and length does its work for me. Lengthy blogging takes the same therapeutic cure as seeing a shrink. Blogging is a self therapy, a much cheaper (free is cheap enough) means of releasing dung. Hopefully, with length, depth will come.
- It's not a popularity contest. With Twitter, you are a loner suspect if you follow 1000 people but only 100 of them follow you back. With Facebook, besides being a loner suspect if you only have fewer than 1000 friends, you also run into a loser suspect if no one interacts with your newsfeeds by commenting or liking back.Blogging does not make you feel like a loner or a loser if there are no followers, no comments, or no viewers. Even if it's just for the people, by the people and of the people, the people in this case is just me, from me, to me, and for me. Finally, I have a place to save grace, thanks to blogging.
Just as all the movies have ratings and some TV shows such as "24" and "No Reservations" have the "Viewer's discretion is required" warnings, here are some disclaimers about my blah logs - blogs:
- It's typing not writing. I don't have a typing certificate to prove it but I type relatively fast. My typing skills might have deteriorated over the years but even at the lowered speed (probably instead of 70 wpm, it's in the 50 wpm range), it's impossible to multi-task to include thinking. So I give away thinking to typing when I blog.
- "It’s not you. It’s me" – My blogs are for my own personal indulgings only. They represent partly my own opinions or thought flows at the time when I type, which may or may not evolve over time. Therefore, I can not solemnly swear I'm telling the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth. I'm not interested in, nor qualified for taking upon the role of informing, inspiring, or educating you as the readers. If you dislike or disagree with anything I say in my blogs, remember I'm not blogging to you. It's me, myself and I that I blog to.
- I am not serious with blogs. I can not make myself serious, seriously. I am easily amused, even at the occasions where I'm not supposed to. That's why I've been afraid of attending funeral ceremonies since I was a child. Laughing was indeed an improper behavior at occasions like that but serious people do amuse me. I concluded that all my sufferings all boil down to the moments when I forget NOT to be too serious.
- Blah unlimited. I'm glad that blog is in the forum of unlimited monologue. Twitter is a form of monologue but it has a 140 character limit. Facebook also has the character limit. I don't think blogger sites have a length limit for a blog post. So far none of my blogs have been bumped unfinished in spite of the length. I have heard the saying "Brevity is the soul of wit". But for someone who is not aiming high for the soul or the wit, length is all I've got and length does its work for me. Lengthy blogging takes the same therapeutic cure as seeing a shrink. Blogging is a self therapy, a much cheaper (free is cheap enough) means of releasing dung. Hopefully, with length, depth will come.
- It's not a popularity contest. With Twitter, you are a loner suspect if you follow 1000 people but only 100 of them follow you back. With Facebook, besides being a loner suspect if you only have fewer than 1000 friends, you also run into a loser suspect if no one interacts with your newsfeeds by commenting or liking back.Blogging does not make you feel like a loner or a loser if there are no followers, no comments, or no viewers. Even if it's just for the people, by the people and of the people, the people in this case is just me, from me, to me, and for me. Finally, I have a place to save grace, thanks to blogging.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Book Review: Possum Living - Live Well Without Job and Money
I grabbed the book titled "Possum Living" over a cup of coffee at the Barnes and Nobles, one of my best pastimes on a Sunday afternoon. The book title immeidately attracted my attention. Did I just name possum one of the annoying animals in my last blog? They sneek around my yard sometimes, leaving their dog-like dungs. Yike. What is possum living?
The author of Possum Living is an 18-year old girl who lived off the land with her father on their half an acre. They managed to spend about $1700 a year in the 70's. She argues in the book that even the most stupid and laziest animals like possum can live off the land, why can't us humans. "The Gods gave man an easy life, but man has complicated it by itching for luxury", says she.
For a lot of us, our well-being is at the mercy of fluctuations of the economy. This living off the land notion, especially in this economy, is very appealing. No more taxes and insurance. Layoff? No, you are fired first! Republicans or Democrats? Who gives a rat's ass! You build your own house from scratch using the resources off the land (that's to say no electrical, plumbing or inspection required for this type of primitive house). You grow your own vegetables, and go fishing and hunting. Of course there are still some essentials such as toilet paper or tooth paste you will need to buy from stores, but you'll have to do so very frugally. In return you live free and independant from the money economy. Shall we say greener too? It's not an utopia. I guess some people are really living like that. In my past real estate dealings, I have run into a couple of the buyers who asked me to find them a cheap remote rural parcel of land. They didn't care about whether the land had improvements or not because they didn't need power and septic to live. One of them showed me a book on how to identify edible berries, claiming he could live off the land. This kind of off-the grid self-sufficient possum living is eaiser than you think. It's for you if you are a combination of the following people:
- do not want to work as a work stiff in the 9-5 rat race
- do not want to accept charity/welfare/foodstamps
- do not have interest in joining a hippie communue
- do not intend to pioneer into the boondocks
- do not want to committ crime
- do not want to wheel and deal in business
Yes, I can identify myself to be one of those "do not" groups. The book was an interesting read until I moved on to the step-by-step possum living instruction pages half way through. The advice started to get on my nerves. The "Living Well" (so she thought) means reading her account books for evening entertainment since TV, car and vacation are out of the question. Ouch! That hurts. They won't work for me and most of the people who are flipping the pages of this book because of the promised title. Possum are really just giant rats. Even for all the "do not" people, we'd choose living with mortgage and marraige over living like a rat any day. I think the correct title for the book should be "Rat Living". Somehow I suspect if that book was titled as "Rat Living" instead of "Possum Living", it would have had a hard time hitting the bookshelf or ever becoming a hit.
The author of Possum Living is an 18-year old girl who lived off the land with her father on their half an acre. They managed to spend about $1700 a year in the 70's. She argues in the book that even the most stupid and laziest animals like possum can live off the land, why can't us humans. "The Gods gave man an easy life, but man has complicated it by itching for luxury", says she.
For a lot of us, our well-being is at the mercy of fluctuations of the economy. This living off the land notion, especially in this economy, is very appealing. No more taxes and insurance. Layoff? No, you are fired first! Republicans or Democrats? Who gives a rat's ass! You build your own house from scratch using the resources off the land (that's to say no electrical, plumbing or inspection required for this type of primitive house). You grow your own vegetables, and go fishing and hunting. Of course there are still some essentials such as toilet paper or tooth paste you will need to buy from stores, but you'll have to do so very frugally. In return you live free and independant from the money economy. Shall we say greener too? It's not an utopia. I guess some people are really living like that. In my past real estate dealings, I have run into a couple of the buyers who asked me to find them a cheap remote rural parcel of land. They didn't care about whether the land had improvements or not because they didn't need power and septic to live. One of them showed me a book on how to identify edible berries, claiming he could live off the land. This kind of off-the grid self-sufficient possum living is eaiser than you think. It's for you if you are a combination of the following people:
- do not want to work as a work stiff in the 9-5 rat race
- do not want to accept charity/welfare/foodstamps
- do not have interest in joining a hippie communue
- do not intend to pioneer into the boondocks
- do not want to committ crime
- do not want to wheel and deal in business
Yes, I can identify myself to be one of those "do not" groups. The book was an interesting read until I moved on to the step-by-step possum living instruction pages half way through. The advice started to get on my nerves. The "Living Well" (so she thought) means reading her account books for evening entertainment since TV, car and vacation are out of the question. Ouch! That hurts. They won't work for me and most of the people who are flipping the pages of this book because of the promised title. Possum are really just giant rats. Even for all the "do not" people, we'd choose living with mortgage and marraige over living like a rat any day. I think the correct title for the book should be "Rat Living". Somehow I suspect if that book was titled as "Rat Living" instead of "Possum Living", it would have had a hard time hitting the bookshelf or ever becoming a hit.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Enemies in Combat - Animal Kingdom - Part II
(continued from "Enemies in Combat - Human World - Part I)
Though I declared a no-enemy-zone in the human world, and sided with Boris on the active flee strategy in combat, I have come face to face with the animal kingdom. The animals in question are not those endangered species which I am supposed to protect, like bald eagles and pandas; nor those dangerous species which I shall gladly flee from as with in the human world, like tigers and wolves. The poor animals that I've taken on as my enemy combatants so far are those defenseless, yet somehow know how to damage my garden or scare me off for no reason. They are listed here in an alphabetical order: bugs, carpenter ants, deer, frogs, possum, spiders,...
The number #1 enemy has to be deer. At the height of my scare and self yard defense, I have pointed my BB gun to them, execution style. They are the only type of animals who have evoked me to the degree of gun voilence. Deer are really cute animals, as long as they stay where they belong: the woods, the parks, someone else's gardens..., anywhere but my garden. I used to adore them. Once when my friends and I spotted a few of them at daytime in a campground in Texas, we went on searching for them with our flashlight at night. I used to greet a deer with the same great joy and excitement as I greeted a long-lost friend "Oh my dear (deer)". Not any more! Ever since I moved here, the deer are no longer a novelty species: they are everywhere. During the hunting season, you'd better wear something bright walking in the woods if you don't want to be mistaken as a deer by the deer hunters. Though I despise hunting as sports or entertainment as a whole, when it comes to deer, I sometimes don't have as much sympathy as I should. I beckon you to see things from my point of view. You see, the soil in my yard is clay like. Adding to it, I don't have green thumbs (only yellow thumbs at best). Do you know how hard it was for me to dig a hole, to shuffle the smelly manure into that hole, to water that hole, to wait for the bud finally blooming from that hole, and then one day to wake up seeing the plant being leveled down to the top of that hole? My yellow thumbs reached out to my BB gun. "Deer, consider yourself warned this time. Don't come back again!" I yelled at them. Next time, I repeated the same hole process, and then there were the deer again! They really knew how to test my tolerance. I suspected they were the same deer because they all looked alike (as the Americans say about the Asians in USA, and as the Asians in China say about the Americans). When they were caught red-handed at the crime scene, they carried on with their crime as if they were carrying on with their daily lunch routine. "Who are you? We are having our lunch here" - They raised their heads occassionally, staring at me during their lunch break if I just stood there still, stunned. "I didn't do nothing. What did I do?” - They gave me that innocent look, citing ignorance as their innocent plea if I tried to make a move; “We didn’t steal; We didn’t kill; We just had a decent meal” - They differed with my guilty verdict if I confronted them with rocks. When all those attempts failed me, I FIRED MY BB GUN AT THEM! That worked because they dropped their food and ran. However, after the gundown, I usually found myself apealing for the deer's innocence. One voice says "They are just animals. They don't know better." Another voice says "They must know they were stealing. How could they not?! Even if they didn't know, a crime against humanity cannot be justified on the grounds of ignorance"!
The next tough animals to combat are frogs. Frogs are traditionally considered good animals. They feed on other unlikable insects, some of which are the above mentioned other enemies in combat. I don’t mind frogs if they stay where they belong, such as rice fields, ponds…anywhere but inside my hot tub. Is that too much to ask considering I'm the one who bought the hot tub? In the beginning, I used some tree branches to direct them away. “You, please run away, far away, back as far as the rice fields in China”. A few times, we relocated them in the far-away corner of the other side of the house, thinking we disoriented them enough for them to find a new hiding place. But no, those frogs like the northwest migrating salmon, knew their way back. Next time I opened the hot tub, the same frogs were at exactly the same spot where they were hiding before. It was not that I was against them having a warm comfortable shelter; It was just that the same spot they liked happened to be where my head liked too. Even if I chose to give that spot away to the frogs, and to lay down my head at one of the other three corners, I couldn’t know for sure they won’t jump into the hot water. For their own sake, it was way too cruel. So I wanted them to leave and I also knew I couldn’t let them leave alive. Finally I resorted to the old trick as a co-cospirator: Every time I opened the hot tub cover and saw the frogs, I just screamed and pointed, letting the man in the house decide their fate. I excused my presence during their fateful moments, but I kinda knew what happened to them and where their new hiding place was. From then on, every time I headed to my hot tub, I passed by their new underground hiding place covered with dirt. I couldn't help paying a glance tribute for their sacrifice before I was about to enjoy my relaxing spa experience.
Spiders are the next in line. There were so many of them around the house last year. Like frogs, spiders are considered good insects too. In most instances, their scary appearances make their fate unfortunate to humans. One morning last year, I massacred at least 40 of them on the fence alone with one rock and one shoe. Some of them were the rather ball-shaped fatty ones. Only by killing them, I discovered they were pregnant spiders. As soon as I smashed their outer round bodies to juices, the skinny spiders crawled out. I felt so disgusted, at them for being pregnant with more disgusting spiders, and at myself for killing the would-be moms and the unborn babies. I remembered longing for a long hot water shower to wash away the spider crawling feel on my skin days after that combat.
Even if I have thousands of reasons to declare the above enlisted animals my enemies in combat, by being a meat eater alone, my crimes against animals are ten thousand fold greater than what a few animal species have done to me. If animals are going to seek justice one of these days, I'm really in trouble.
I remember in the movie “Legend of the Fall”, the 2nd son played by Brat Pitt fought with a hungry lion in the jungle and in the end was eaten by the lion. When his father learned about how his most favorite son died, he called it a good death. I think I know why. It was based on the notion that the animal life forms should be respected and appreciated as the equivelent of the human life forms. It was the same reason why the indiginous tribe people used to praise the sacrifice of the animals before they ate their meat. It’s good and only fair that we humans return some of the animals' favors when the time comes.
When I was in the middle of the combat with the enemies from the animal kingdom, I was aware that I was just adding to that unfairness of humans to animals, the way of life on earth.
Though I declared a no-enemy-zone in the human world, and sided with Boris on the active flee strategy in combat, I have come face to face with the animal kingdom. The animals in question are not those endangered species which I am supposed to protect, like bald eagles and pandas; nor those dangerous species which I shall gladly flee from as with in the human world, like tigers and wolves. The poor animals that I've taken on as my enemy combatants so far are those defenseless, yet somehow know how to damage my garden or scare me off for no reason. They are listed here in an alphabetical order: bugs, carpenter ants, deer, frogs, possum, spiders,...
The number #1 enemy has to be deer. At the height of my scare and self yard defense, I have pointed my BB gun to them, execution style. They are the only type of animals who have evoked me to the degree of gun voilence. Deer are really cute animals, as long as they stay where they belong: the woods, the parks, someone else's gardens..., anywhere but my garden. I used to adore them. Once when my friends and I spotted a few of them at daytime in a campground in Texas, we went on searching for them with our flashlight at night. I used to greet a deer with the same great joy and excitement as I greeted a long-lost friend "Oh my dear (deer)". Not any more! Ever since I moved here, the deer are no longer a novelty species: they are everywhere. During the hunting season, you'd better wear something bright walking in the woods if you don't want to be mistaken as a deer by the deer hunters. Though I despise hunting as sports or entertainment as a whole, when it comes to deer, I sometimes don't have as much sympathy as I should. I beckon you to see things from my point of view. You see, the soil in my yard is clay like. Adding to it, I don't have green thumbs (only yellow thumbs at best). Do you know how hard it was for me to dig a hole, to shuffle the smelly manure into that hole, to water that hole, to wait for the bud finally blooming from that hole, and then one day to wake up seeing the plant being leveled down to the top of that hole? My yellow thumbs reached out to my BB gun. "Deer, consider yourself warned this time. Don't come back again!" I yelled at them. Next time, I repeated the same hole process, and then there were the deer again! They really knew how to test my tolerance. I suspected they were the same deer because they all looked alike (as the Americans say about the Asians in USA, and as the Asians in China say about the Americans). When they were caught red-handed at the crime scene, they carried on with their crime as if they were carrying on with their daily lunch routine. "Who are you? We are having our lunch here" - They raised their heads occassionally, staring at me during their lunch break if I just stood there still, stunned. "I didn't do nothing. What did I do?” - They gave me that innocent look, citing ignorance as their innocent plea if I tried to make a move; “We didn’t steal; We didn’t kill; We just had a decent meal” - They differed with my guilty verdict if I confronted them with rocks. When all those attempts failed me, I FIRED MY BB GUN AT THEM! That worked because they dropped their food and ran. However, after the gundown, I usually found myself apealing for the deer's innocence. One voice says "They are just animals. They don't know better." Another voice says "They must know they were stealing. How could they not?! Even if they didn't know, a crime against humanity cannot be justified on the grounds of ignorance"!
The next tough animals to combat are frogs. Frogs are traditionally considered good animals. They feed on other unlikable insects, some of which are the above mentioned other enemies in combat. I don’t mind frogs if they stay where they belong, such as rice fields, ponds…anywhere but inside my hot tub. Is that too much to ask considering I'm the one who bought the hot tub? In the beginning, I used some tree branches to direct them away. “You, please run away, far away, back as far as the rice fields in China”. A few times, we relocated them in the far-away corner of the other side of the house, thinking we disoriented them enough for them to find a new hiding place. But no, those frogs like the northwest migrating salmon, knew their way back. Next time I opened the hot tub, the same frogs were at exactly the same spot where they were hiding before. It was not that I was against them having a warm comfortable shelter; It was just that the same spot they liked happened to be where my head liked too. Even if I chose to give that spot away to the frogs, and to lay down my head at one of the other three corners, I couldn’t know for sure they won’t jump into the hot water. For their own sake, it was way too cruel. So I wanted them to leave and I also knew I couldn’t let them leave alive. Finally I resorted to the old trick as a co-cospirator: Every time I opened the hot tub cover and saw the frogs, I just screamed and pointed, letting the man in the house decide their fate. I excused my presence during their fateful moments, but I kinda knew what happened to them and where their new hiding place was. From then on, every time I headed to my hot tub, I passed by their new underground hiding place covered with dirt. I couldn't help paying a glance tribute for their sacrifice before I was about to enjoy my relaxing spa experience.
Spiders are the next in line. There were so many of them around the house last year. Like frogs, spiders are considered good insects too. In most instances, their scary appearances make their fate unfortunate to humans. One morning last year, I massacred at least 40 of them on the fence alone with one rock and one shoe. Some of them were the rather ball-shaped fatty ones. Only by killing them, I discovered they were pregnant spiders. As soon as I smashed their outer round bodies to juices, the skinny spiders crawled out. I felt so disgusted, at them for being pregnant with more disgusting spiders, and at myself for killing the would-be moms and the unborn babies. I remembered longing for a long hot water shower to wash away the spider crawling feel on my skin days after that combat.
Even if I have thousands of reasons to declare the above enlisted animals my enemies in combat, by being a meat eater alone, my crimes against animals are ten thousand fold greater than what a few animal species have done to me. If animals are going to seek justice one of these days, I'm really in trouble.
I remember in the movie “Legend of the Fall”, the 2nd son played by Brat Pitt fought with a hungry lion in the jungle and in the end was eaten by the lion. When his father learned about how his most favorite son died, he called it a good death. I think I know why. It was based on the notion that the animal life forms should be respected and appreciated as the equivelent of the human life forms. It was the same reason why the indiginous tribe people used to praise the sacrifice of the animals before they ate their meat. It’s good and only fair that we humans return some of the animals' favors when the time comes.
When I was in the middle of the combat with the enemies from the animal kingdom, I was aware that I was just adding to that unfairness of humans to animals, the way of life on earth.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Enemies in Combat - Human World - Part I
In the movie by Woody Allen "Love and Death", the nerdy Jewish new recruit from a Russian village - Boris played by Woody Allen, marches with other soldiers towards the enemy in a simulated battlefield. As soon as he sees the enemy, he turns around and runs like hell in the opposite direction.
Sonja: Boris, you're a coward!
Boris: Yes, but I'm a militant coward.
Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?
Boris: No, I'm suggesting active fleeing.
That movie I watched 10 some years ago still cracks me up when I think about it. I'm just a coward like Boris. If I were to be sent to a war, I would make sure to march in the back row when the "Marching" order is given. Further, instead of following my teammates running to the enemy, as soon as the gunshots start, I'd just pretend being shot and falling to the ground, faking death. And then I would flee at the first possible opportunity.
Sergeant: If they kill more Russians, they win. If we kill more Frenchmen, we win.
Boris: What do we win?
You get the picture: I'm pro-life! Like Boris, I don't know who my enemies are and what I can win in combat.
I have run a list of the crimes I have done and been done to, from the early crime of once cutting down a sugarcane in the farmer's sugarfield in the 8th grade to the later more elevated crimes, a couple of which in that list I wish to have an undo or erase button to undo or erase, or at least to have a shovel to bury the associated memory deep into the grave, never to be dug out again. However, if Albert Einstein is correct in his mass energy equation, also the theory of relativity E=mc² which says "all motion can be measured only in relation to the observer who performs the measurement, and time and position are all relative to the observer", then I should believe: 1): Everything happens for rhymes or reasons; 2): If the thymes sound off-tune or the reasons seem unreconcilabled. Therefore, I refuse to take an enemy combatant regardless of how I'm regarded as by the other side. I hear if you don't have an enemy, you have never stood up for something. If so, first tell me what I should stand up for. I also hear if you don't know how to hate, you don't know how to love. If so, first show me how to love. Until then, I'm fleeing with you, Boris.
Soldier 1: The idea is not to panic and run... then they shoot you in the back.
Soldier 2: I don't want to be trampled by a horse. What about you, Boris?
Boris: [sarcastically] Yeah, I want to be trampled by a horse. I don't even want to fight.
See my next blog Enemies in Combat - Animal Kingdom - Part II
Sonja: Boris, you're a coward!
Boris: Yes, but I'm a militant coward.
Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?
Boris: No, I'm suggesting active fleeing.
That movie I watched 10 some years ago still cracks me up when I think about it. I'm just a coward like Boris. If I were to be sent to a war, I would make sure to march in the back row when the "Marching" order is given. Further, instead of following my teammates running to the enemy, as soon as the gunshots start, I'd just pretend being shot and falling to the ground, faking death. And then I would flee at the first possible opportunity.
Sergeant: If they kill more Russians, they win. If we kill more Frenchmen, we win.
Boris: What do we win?
You get the picture: I'm pro-life! Like Boris, I don't know who my enemies are and what I can win in combat.
I have run a list of the crimes I have done and been done to, from the early crime of once cutting down a sugarcane in the farmer's sugarfield in the 8th grade to the later more elevated crimes, a couple of which in that list I wish to have an undo or erase button to undo or erase, or at least to have a shovel to bury the associated memory deep into the grave, never to be dug out again. However, if Albert Einstein is correct in his mass energy equation, also the theory of relativity E=mc² which says "all motion can be measured only in relation to the observer who performs the measurement, and time and position are all relative to the observer", then I should believe: 1): Everything happens for rhymes or reasons; 2): If the thymes sound off-tune or the reasons seem unreconcilabled. Therefore, I refuse to take an enemy combatant regardless of how I'm regarded as by the other side. I hear if you don't have an enemy, you have never stood up for something. If so, first tell me what I should stand up for. I also hear if you don't know how to hate, you don't know how to love. If so, first show me how to love. Until then, I'm fleeing with you, Boris.
Soldier 1: The idea is not to panic and run... then they shoot you in the back.
Soldier 2: I don't want to be trampled by a horse. What about you, Boris?
Boris: [sarcastically] Yeah, I want to be trampled by a horse. I don't even want to fight.
See my next blog Enemies in Combat - Animal Kingdom - Part II
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Whine on Wine
When asked about drinking status in any questionnaire, I often check the box for a "social drinking". According to Wikipedia, social drinking refers to casual drinking in a social setting without intent to get drunk. That's a close description because either of the two is true: 1) When I got drunk in a social setting, I didn't intend it; 2) When I intended to get drunk, I preferred a non social setting.
In the recent years, I seem to have broken the social drinking status with wine: I’ve had it in private moments, many times over. It’s quite enjoyable drinking a glass of wine, paired with cheese and crackers, either meditating on my own or conversing with good company. I can no longer play the drinking blame game on the temptress - usually the party hosts (They made me. I only said “yes please”); or on the social pressure - the pressure of being sociable (I don’t want to look like an uptight misfit). Since I can not blame anyone, I’ll just whine on wine.
As the saying goes, “In water, there are bacteria. In wine, there is wisdom”. Wine has some common wisdom with other alcoholic drinks, one of which being the tipsy effect, it loosens you up and makes you an eloquent speaker. Alcohol is said to have a damaging effect on the brain, especially if it's drank heavily. However, wine, especially red wine, when being drank in moderation, helps your brain. Not that brain power is important to me. If I'm really serious about improving my brain (for what I don't know), I have a better chance achieving this by working on the brain use percentage. Most of us use only 10% of our brains. Unless you are striving to be the next Albert Einstein or a rocket scientist (even Einstein used only about 15% of his brain), then your brain should be the least of your worries. On the contrary, for most of us, drinking is a pain medicine in exchange of the awareness of our intellecture waste. Isn’t it painful to realize that a big portion of your brain is never to be utilized to better yourself and mankind?
One time, I read an article about rosé wine in an in-flight magazine. It says rosé does not get old. It only ages. That’s some inspiration for a woman whose self reflection in a mirror starts to show signs of gravity pull. Now I not only like its pretty pink color and its pleasant flavor, more than ever, I like what it stands for. That's a doze of rosé wisdom some of us could use. We just age; We don’t get old.
Like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, in the hands of mastercraft wine makers, grape transcends into wine. Wine takes a culture (or may we say religion) of its own. Wine is differentiated from old world to new world according to region; from Pinot Nior to late harvest ice wine according to cultured grapes; from oak wood to stainless steel according to barrel; from aged to new according production year. Different wine goes with a different size wine glass. Different wine is also supposed to pair with different food in order to best bring out its flavor. Difference aside, all wineries have one thing in common. They all have beautifully construed grape vineyards and the equally beautifully constructed architecture. If you have never been to Italy, a trip to a fine winery gives you the closest impression of what Italy might look like. "Arrivederci Roma".
Against my better judgment, so far what I have written is an ode to wine. Am I supposed to whine on wine? Here I come. Have you been to a wine tasting in an estate winery lately? If you have not, mind you this is how it goes. All the wines in the wineries are award winning wines from different years. Before the staff pour you some sample wines, they go on speaking their sophisticated wine vocabulary, and I would not know how to repeat them. The only words that came out of my mouth during my many wine tasting sessions are the boring: "strong", "mild", "bitter" (this last one is often felt but rarely spoken), and then they tell you the wine you are about to taste has a hint of apricot, peach, pear, passion fruit, lychee, smoky, oak, peppery, cedar …in one word, any flavor except grape flavor. Are we tasting wines fermented from grapes, grapes, nothing but the grapes only? Has anyone truly and surely tasted any of those imaginary flavors, provided you are still sober? In case you don't know, here is how wine should be tasted: Swirl the wine in the glass; Close your eyes; Bring your glass underneath one of your nostrils; Breathe in deeply; Smell the aroma; Take the full wine amount in your month; Swirl the wine in your mouth; Swallow it (Thank God. Finally!). Every wine tasting room even has an empty bucket on the counter just for those who would do all the above, except instead of the last action, the only one action that counts -swallow, they spit the wine out in the bucket. Aren't we wine people among the snobbiest kind of all people? Wine, which is glorified grape juice at its best, is put on a pedestal for us classy but ignorant tasters to worship. Try that on beer people with their beer. I suspect they will either storm away from the tasting room or dump the free wine from the spit bucket into their stomach.
Some of the wine gift shops sell the banners which read “Whine a little, you will feel better”. Yep! I feel better already.
In the recent years, I seem to have broken the social drinking status with wine: I’ve had it in private moments, many times over. It’s quite enjoyable drinking a glass of wine, paired with cheese and crackers, either meditating on my own or conversing with good company. I can no longer play the drinking blame game on the temptress - usually the party hosts (They made me. I only said “yes please”); or on the social pressure - the pressure of being sociable (I don’t want to look like an uptight misfit). Since I can not blame anyone, I’ll just whine on wine.
As the saying goes, “In water, there are bacteria. In wine, there is wisdom”. Wine has some common wisdom with other alcoholic drinks, one of which being the tipsy effect, it loosens you up and makes you an eloquent speaker. Alcohol is said to have a damaging effect on the brain, especially if it's drank heavily. However, wine, especially red wine, when being drank in moderation, helps your brain. Not that brain power is important to me. If I'm really serious about improving my brain (for what I don't know), I have a better chance achieving this by working on the brain use percentage. Most of us use only 10% of our brains. Unless you are striving to be the next Albert Einstein or a rocket scientist (even Einstein used only about 15% of his brain), then your brain should be the least of your worries. On the contrary, for most of us, drinking is a pain medicine in exchange of the awareness of our intellecture waste. Isn’t it painful to realize that a big portion of your brain is never to be utilized to better yourself and mankind?
One time, I read an article about rosé wine in an in-flight magazine. It says rosé does not get old. It only ages. That’s some inspiration for a woman whose self reflection in a mirror starts to show signs of gravity pull. Now I not only like its pretty pink color and its pleasant flavor, more than ever, I like what it stands for. That's a doze of rosé wisdom some of us could use. We just age; We don’t get old.
Like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly, in the hands of mastercraft wine makers, grape transcends into wine. Wine takes a culture (or may we say religion) of its own. Wine is differentiated from old world to new world according to region; from Pinot Nior to late harvest ice wine according to cultured grapes; from oak wood to stainless steel according to barrel; from aged to new according production year. Different wine goes with a different size wine glass. Different wine is also supposed to pair with different food in order to best bring out its flavor. Difference aside, all wineries have one thing in common. They all have beautifully construed grape vineyards and the equally beautifully constructed architecture. If you have never been to Italy, a trip to a fine winery gives you the closest impression of what Italy might look like. "Arrivederci Roma".
Against my better judgment, so far what I have written is an ode to wine. Am I supposed to whine on wine? Here I come. Have you been to a wine tasting in an estate winery lately? If you have not, mind you this is how it goes. All the wines in the wineries are award winning wines from different years. Before the staff pour you some sample wines, they go on speaking their sophisticated wine vocabulary, and I would not know how to repeat them. The only words that came out of my mouth during my many wine tasting sessions are the boring: "strong", "mild", "bitter" (this last one is often felt but rarely spoken), and then they tell you the wine you are about to taste has a hint of apricot, peach, pear, passion fruit, lychee, smoky, oak, peppery, cedar …in one word, any flavor except grape flavor. Are we tasting wines fermented from grapes, grapes, nothing but the grapes only? Has anyone truly and surely tasted any of those imaginary flavors, provided you are still sober? In case you don't know, here is how wine should be tasted: Swirl the wine in the glass; Close your eyes; Bring your glass underneath one of your nostrils; Breathe in deeply; Smell the aroma; Take the full wine amount in your month; Swirl the wine in your mouth; Swallow it (Thank God. Finally!). Every wine tasting room even has an empty bucket on the counter just for those who would do all the above, except instead of the last action, the only one action that counts -swallow, they spit the wine out in the bucket. Aren't we wine people among the snobbiest kind of all people? Wine, which is glorified grape juice at its best, is put on a pedestal for us classy but ignorant tasters to worship. Try that on beer people with their beer. I suspect they will either storm away from the tasting room or dump the free wine from the spit bucket into their stomach.
Some of the wine gift shops sell the banners which read “Whine a little, you will feel better”. Yep! I feel better already.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Happy Chinese New Year!
The Chinese New Year 2010 falls on Feb 14th, Valentine’s Day. Happy Valentine's Day! Happy Chinese New Year!
In the city where I live, Asian makes up about 1% of the total population. I don't know out of that percentage how many of them are actually Chinese. Though there are 1.3 billion of us on the planet, I'm undoubtedly in the elite minority status here. I have only met several Chinese people around here so far. A couple of times when I saw an Asian looking person in the stores, I felt compelled to approach her/him for some quick chit-chat in Chinese. Usually I was approached before I made up my mind. Make no mistake about it. Though we lonely Chinese minorities here can't swing the votes, united we can stand voicing our native language in the stores. Having lived among the American communities for so long, I sometimes forget I am a Chinese. My American husband and a couple of close American friends claimed to have forgotten that too when they slipped their tongues by making unflattering remarks about Chinese goods or China in front of me. Only when they turned to look at me, my furious look reminded them of me being a Chinese. They would immediately apologize "Oh I'm so sorry. I forget you are a Chinese". When it comes to forgetting, it should be a double-standard: I can forget I'm a Chinese but you can NOT! However, most of the times, I don't have to worry about that. Just my face and my accent alone don't let me get away with being mistaken as an American even if I want to . When I first started with John L Scott real estate office as a sales associate, I solicited a few of the "For Sale by Owner" telephone numbers in order to prospect some new listings. As a rule, I had to identify the company name I worked for during the soliciting calls. Shortly after, my broker received a complaint from a FSBO Seller I previously called. "Shame on you! You are outsourcing your business overseas, to China?". And I didn't even mention to the Seller where I was originally from and where I was then!
5 years ago, on one weekend before the Chinese New Year's Day, I invited my American colleagues for a Chinese New Year's celebration dinner party. My broker volunteered his house as the venue. I volunteered myself as the Chinese iron chef. Since I have been educating my American colleagues all along that the Chinese food they have had was only American Chinese food, I was supposed to demonstrate to them how the authentic Chinese food should taste like by cooking for them at the party. Fearing my limited cooking skills will fail the authenticity part, I drove a couple of hours one-way and bought a lot of takeouts from a Sichuanese restaurant to the party. Along with the takeouts, I only made a couple of easy dishes. I didn't lie per se but I did lead them to believe I made all of them. Misleading is not lying, right? All the colleagues and their families seemed to love the food I "cooked". My broker wanted to keep the leftover "eye balls". That's how he called those white sticky rice balls, and everyone else started calling them "eye balls" also. That dish was actually called "Tangyuan" in Chinese. It was the single most traditional Chinese new year's dish made of sticky rice and sweet filler. One of my colleague's 3-year old daughter was a little traumatized watching us adults eating the "eyeballs". Several agents asked me to give them the recipe of some of the dishes they liked. A couple of them kept bugging me about releasing the recipes afterwards. I never did. How could anyone expect me to give recipes for the food someone else cooked? Oops! Hush. Can't really blame them.
We invited my Chinese girlfriend and her family from another city over for a hotpot dinner celebration on Chinese New Year's Eve this year. Hotpot is like fondue in Chinese sauce. I like it burning spicy hot but I will have to tone the spice down for others. This will mark the first time in USA that I celebrate the Chinese New Year with my Chinese people!
God bless America! God bless China! Happy Valentine! Happy Chinese New Year!
In the city where I live, Asian makes up about 1% of the total population. I don't know out of that percentage how many of them are actually Chinese. Though there are 1.3 billion of us on the planet, I'm undoubtedly in the elite minority status here. I have only met several Chinese people around here so far. A couple of times when I saw an Asian looking person in the stores, I felt compelled to approach her/him for some quick chit-chat in Chinese. Usually I was approached before I made up my mind. Make no mistake about it. Though we lonely Chinese minorities here can't swing the votes, united we can stand voicing our native language in the stores. Having lived among the American communities for so long, I sometimes forget I am a Chinese. My American husband and a couple of close American friends claimed to have forgotten that too when they slipped their tongues by making unflattering remarks about Chinese goods or China in front of me. Only when they turned to look at me, my furious look reminded them of me being a Chinese. They would immediately apologize "Oh I'm so sorry. I forget you are a Chinese". When it comes to forgetting, it should be a double-standard: I can forget I'm a Chinese but you can NOT! However, most of the times, I don't have to worry about that. Just my face and my accent alone don't let me get away with being mistaken as an American even if I want to . When I first started with John L Scott real estate office as a sales associate, I solicited a few of the "For Sale by Owner" telephone numbers in order to prospect some new listings. As a rule, I had to identify the company name I worked for during the soliciting calls. Shortly after, my broker received a complaint from a FSBO Seller I previously called. "Shame on you! You are outsourcing your business overseas, to China?". And I didn't even mention to the Seller where I was originally from and where I was then!
5 years ago, on one weekend before the Chinese New Year's Day, I invited my American colleagues for a Chinese New Year's celebration dinner party. My broker volunteered his house as the venue. I volunteered myself as the Chinese iron chef. Since I have been educating my American colleagues all along that the Chinese food they have had was only American Chinese food, I was supposed to demonstrate to them how the authentic Chinese food should taste like by cooking for them at the party. Fearing my limited cooking skills will fail the authenticity part, I drove a couple of hours one-way and bought a lot of takeouts from a Sichuanese restaurant to the party. Along with the takeouts, I only made a couple of easy dishes. I didn't lie per se but I did lead them to believe I made all of them. Misleading is not lying, right? All the colleagues and their families seemed to love the food I "cooked". My broker wanted to keep the leftover "eye balls". That's how he called those white sticky rice balls, and everyone else started calling them "eye balls" also. That dish was actually called "Tangyuan" in Chinese. It was the single most traditional Chinese new year's dish made of sticky rice and sweet filler. One of my colleague's 3-year old daughter was a little traumatized watching us adults eating the "eyeballs". Several agents asked me to give them the recipe of some of the dishes they liked. A couple of them kept bugging me about releasing the recipes afterwards. I never did. How could anyone expect me to give recipes for the food someone else cooked? Oops! Hush. Can't really blame them.
We invited my Chinese girlfriend and her family from another city over for a hotpot dinner celebration on Chinese New Year's Eve this year. Hotpot is like fondue in Chinese sauce. I like it burning spicy hot but I will have to tone the spice down for others. This will mark the first time in USA that I celebrate the Chinese New Year with my Chinese people!
God bless America! God bless China! Happy Valentine! Happy Chinese New Year!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tora! Tora! Tora! - Hainan
Tora! Tora! Tora!- Hainan is on fire! Property prices are skyrocketing! Every inch of the waterfront is being built up! The rich and the greedy are invading the island! Avatar is playing out 3D live on my favorite place in China - Hainan!
Just learned from one of my girlfriends in China that the property prices in Hainan have skyrocketed in the recent months as a result of the Chinese government proclaiming that Hainan will receive special attention and incentives to be developed into an international luxury level destination. My girlfriend's budget for an ocean view retreat in the city last year is now only enough for an interior condo in a nearby county, and she needs to act quickly before the next price heat wave starts. The selling prices for some condo developments are already around $700 per square foot.
What a poof! I knew it! It had to come down to this. If you think Waikiki beach is overcrowded with high-rises and tourists, wait until you see Yalongwan (one of the nicest beaches in Sanyan City, Hainan) in a few years. Hainan has already undergone lots of development since I was there last time, which was...At this point, I have to do the math using my age as a reference point. So it was 14 years ago.
Memory plays tricks on us. I reckon the reason why we think of a dead person as always nice is that our memory is kind-natured enough to filter out the bad, and a dead person is not alive to do any wrong to prove our memory otherwise. I futher reckon that my memory of Hainan could be playing the same trick on me. Spaced out from another continent and 14 years time span, what remained of Hainan are only those fond memories: unspoiled sandy beaches, friendly locals, fresh seafood, cheap taxis, post-midnight eat-out, motorcycle riding with sandals on, endless shopping streets, palms trees, and fresh coconuts right off the trees... Let's not forget about the perfect tropic weather. Hainan was an ultimate romantic place where romance didn't have to involve men (or really?).
I'm sure even without the overdevelopment, Hainan was no longer the place as it was once before. All my gangs have moved somewhere else; The old streets must have been replaced with new constructions; The remote Moonbay beach, where we used to go for a whole day without running into another person, must be swarmed with people. Of course, even in the 80's and 90's, the major cities in Hainan were no lack of crimes, prostitution and corruption like the rest of the country. I don't know things in those aspects have improved over the years. I hope so. However, Hainan is the only tropical island in China, and possibly the only place where you can breathe fresh air in China. Back then outside the city outskirts, you were likely to find a slice of paradise .
As more and more mainlanders are descending on the island, Hainan is finally living up to its name "Oriental Hawaii" in property prices and tourist popularity. My China Connection through Hainan is thinning out as the new development wave is giving another facelift to the primitive beauty of Hainan. Oh well. Changes are inevitable. Hainan as well as the rest of China is too far away, and it's too early to think about where to retire. Even if Hainan were the same as I remembered, it would not have made any difference to me in reality because all I have is right here and right now. Spring is almost here. Bulbs and rose buds in my garden are coming out. A grape arbor needs to be built for the grapevines to climb on. My slice of heaven at backyard is awaiting my touches. Now here is the secret of gardening: whether you realize it or not, gardening is one's attempt to create sacredness on earth, in spite of the soil and location. If you have ever reserved a spot for a sacred garden in you, then nothing can take your bliss away. That's the way how we preserve the memory of a deceased beloved. That's how I will always remember Hainan, even when it's under tora tora tora!
Just learned from one of my girlfriends in China that the property prices in Hainan have skyrocketed in the recent months as a result of the Chinese government proclaiming that Hainan will receive special attention and incentives to be developed into an international luxury level destination. My girlfriend's budget for an ocean view retreat in the city last year is now only enough for an interior condo in a nearby county, and she needs to act quickly before the next price heat wave starts. The selling prices for some condo developments are already around $700 per square foot.
What a poof! I knew it! It had to come down to this. If you think Waikiki beach is overcrowded with high-rises and tourists, wait until you see Yalongwan (one of the nicest beaches in Sanyan City, Hainan) in a few years. Hainan has already undergone lots of development since I was there last time, which was...At this point, I have to do the math using my age as a reference point. So it was 14 years ago.
Memory plays tricks on us. I reckon the reason why we think of a dead person as always nice is that our memory is kind-natured enough to filter out the bad, and a dead person is not alive to do any wrong to prove our memory otherwise. I futher reckon that my memory of Hainan could be playing the same trick on me. Spaced out from another continent and 14 years time span, what remained of Hainan are only those fond memories: unspoiled sandy beaches, friendly locals, fresh seafood, cheap taxis, post-midnight eat-out, motorcycle riding with sandals on, endless shopping streets, palms trees, and fresh coconuts right off the trees... Let's not forget about the perfect tropic weather. Hainan was an ultimate romantic place where romance didn't have to involve men (or really?).
I'm sure even without the overdevelopment, Hainan was no longer the place as it was once before. All my gangs have moved somewhere else; The old streets must have been replaced with new constructions; The remote Moonbay beach, where we used to go for a whole day without running into another person, must be swarmed with people. Of course, even in the 80's and 90's, the major cities in Hainan were no lack of crimes, prostitution and corruption like the rest of the country. I don't know things in those aspects have improved over the years. I hope so. However, Hainan is the only tropical island in China, and possibly the only place where you can breathe fresh air in China. Back then outside the city outskirts, you were likely to find a slice of paradise .
As more and more mainlanders are descending on the island, Hainan is finally living up to its name "Oriental Hawaii" in property prices and tourist popularity. My China Connection through Hainan is thinning out as the new development wave is giving another facelift to the primitive beauty of Hainan. Oh well. Changes are inevitable. Hainan as well as the rest of China is too far away, and it's too early to think about where to retire. Even if Hainan were the same as I remembered, it would not have made any difference to me in reality because all I have is right here and right now. Spring is almost here. Bulbs and rose buds in my garden are coming out. A grape arbor needs to be built for the grapevines to climb on. My slice of heaven at backyard is awaiting my touches. Now here is the secret of gardening: whether you realize it or not, gardening is one's attempt to create sacredness on earth, in spite of the soil and location. If you have ever reserved a spot for a sacred garden in you, then nothing can take your bliss away. That's the way how we preserve the memory of a deceased beloved. That's how I will always remember Hainan, even when it's under tora tora tora!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I shall fight no more forever - to the unlived life
The first time I read this line was right after I came to the U.S. One day as I was browsing a store, I saw a painting of a solemn and anguished looking old Native American India man, on horse with his feathered arrow down. Underneath the painting, it read "I shall fight no more forever." As an impulse shopper, I acted on my impulse. The painting made its way to my small apartment then. I often looked at that painting, not knowing who he was and what the painting was about. I just knew the painting spoke to me on many personal levels, in a good way. It helped bringing the inner peace in me. I later learned about Chief Joseph and his story.
Life is full of conflict. To live in one physical body form means to be at one place at one dimension at one time. It means we have to take side in the conflict, and then fulfill only one side of the conflict. Living means walking the path of one life, leaving the other life, for most our inner life, unlived. There is no way to run away from the dilemma. In order to avoid bloodshed and pain, something is going to give. Peace is born. Peace is not absence of conflict. It's the ability of taking side and then coping with the conflict. Peace (so is happiness) is also over-rated in today's society in my opinion. It should never be appraised as if it were the destination - the goal of living. It's just a way of living, a choice which a survivor ought to take in order to move forward. I don't know if all my peace talks make sense to you. But if you are left with any scars, you have fought the senseless battles.
The painting is now collecting dust in the garage after my last move but I still think of that painting whenever I'm in a war with myself. So an invisible spot somewhere on the empty wall is reserved for Chief Joseph. To my unlived life into the wilderness, I lay down my weapons and lay you to rest this lifetime. "From where the sun now stands, I shall fight no more forever".
Life is full of conflict. To live in one physical body form means to be at one place at one dimension at one time. It means we have to take side in the conflict, and then fulfill only one side of the conflict. Living means walking the path of one life, leaving the other life, for most our inner life, unlived. There is no way to run away from the dilemma. In order to avoid bloodshed and pain, something is going to give. Peace is born. Peace is not absence of conflict. It's the ability of taking side and then coping with the conflict. Peace (so is happiness) is also over-rated in today's society in my opinion. It should never be appraised as if it were the destination - the goal of living. It's just a way of living, a choice which a survivor ought to take in order to move forward. I don't know if all my peace talks make sense to you. But if you are left with any scars, you have fought the senseless battles.
The painting is now collecting dust in the garage after my last move but I still think of that painting whenever I'm in a war with myself. So an invisible spot somewhere on the empty wall is reserved for Chief Joseph. To my unlived life into the wilderness, I lay down my weapons and lay you to rest this lifetime. "From where the sun now stands, I shall fight no more forever".
Saturday, January 30, 2010
The Pitfalls of Vacations, and Advices from Me - Traveller at Home
If you are about to embark on a journey in the form of vacation, don't read this blog because it might ruin your psycho for it. I'm just saying... Don't say I didn't warn you.
See. I myself have not had a vacation for a while. Maybe I'm just jealous of anyone who is going to have one soon. Be that as it may. I will take a run of the pitfalls of vacations here.
Pitfalls
1. Hyped Expectations. Your vacation comes once in a blue moon. You are hyper excited about the selected vacation dates. Just thinking of it makes you sing. The mundaneness of daily life becomes more interesting. Expectation of your vacation gives you something to look forward to. You think of those selected dates as your time of ultimate freedom. If you have to classify your days in the level of freedom, in terms of freedom, Mondays through Fridays have the lowest level, equivalent to be sent to the capital murder prison; Weekends are better but not quite, equivalent to be transferred to a lesser security prison. Vacation is the time you are set free. But expectation, when hyped, hampers your ability to enjoy your vacation because your vacation is now under pressure of living up to that hyped expectation.
Advice: Remember "Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise". Or expect very little so every little thing on your trip comes as a pleasant surprise to you. Go wild but lay low. Don't expect a good meal when the waitress tells you your ordered food is great. When the food comes, and after you taste it, you will know.
2. Fixed Return Date. Unless you drive, you buy a non-refundable round trip flight ticket ahead of time. You always do. You'd better have a return-ticket. Besides logistic reasons, a one-way ticket might trigger the airport security alert for a suicide bomber. The set return date and pre-paid return flight ticket save you from unforseeable hassles and give you a peace of mind. However, when the return date comes, you are either too eager to leave, or you wish you could have stayed longer.
Advice: When you plan a vacation, prepare for a flexible return date. If it's the same airline and same flight time on a different date, airline companies usually do not charge you anything for changing the ticket.
3. News Broadcasting. "I'm going to Hollywood!". "I'm going to Hollywood!". In the last episode of American Idol where the audition took place in LA, those selected idol candidates were jumping up and down with their yellow sheets - their golden tickets to fame. Don't they know they are already in Hollywood! It's LA for God sake! After you finish planning your vacation, you are like those selected American Idols broadcasting your vacation news "I'm going to Pakistan!" "I'm going to Paskstan!" because you are now holding that yellow sheet - your reserved electronic flight ticket to a vacation destination.
Advice: Hush! Keep your vacation a secret so if you change your mind, you don't have the liability of correcting the news again. Also, when you broadcast your travel news, you are likely to encounter two types of responses: the skepticism and the advice. The skeptics feed you with fear: "Are you sure it's a good time to go next month: swine flu, terrorists, plane crash, earthquake, poor Haiti... Isn't that morally wrong to vacation in Haiti while the people there are suffering? " The advisers feed you with unwanted information you prefer finding out yourself: "Where are you going to stay? I stayed there many times before. They have this coolest waterfall pool and tram ride. Oh you should check such and such..." So don't broadcast your vacation news. After you come back, if they ask you what you did last weekend, you just say with an expressionless face. Not much. Oh. I almost forgot I went to Tuscany. Watch their reaction. They will do the post-trip news broadcasting work for you. "Can you believe so and so went to Tuscany last week?"
4. Pressure of Having Fun. Because of your hyped expectations and your previous news broadcasting, you are now supposed to have fun. You owe it to yourself, and everyone else you broadcasted to because they demand your fun update when you return. You are psychologically pressed to have fun. You've got to tan your face in the sun though you could have done that at home mowing lawn for the same result. You've got to get out doing things. You shall not fail yourself and others by just doing nothing? Act I: Actions. Go!
Advice: You don't need to jump into the go-go mood as soon as you check in the hotel. That's work. Remember: this is your vacation. Sleep in. Hang loose. Disguise yourself as a local, not as a tourist. Only then you will start to relax and enjoy your vacation.
5. Reporting to and Checking in with the Base. Have you ever encountered this situation? Just as you lie down on the beach, enjoying the warm sun and the soothing sound of ocean waves, you hear a guy behind you talking on the phone, reporting every move of his, to someone on the other end of the phone. "I got here last night. I just came to the hotel beach. Man. It's gorgeous! It's sunny, about 80 degree. I have a book with me. I'm laying down my towel on the beach and I will then take a swim. What are you doing?” If he annoys you, don't be like him.
Advice: If you are in an emergency, call 911. If anyone back home is in an emergency, they will call 911. You are thousands of miles away; there is nothing you can do about it. Unless you need bail money because you are thrown in jail, you have large sums of business money at stake, or if you are dying in the hospital, you don't really need to call anyone, reporting what you are doing and where you are. You are on vacation. Get lost. The more you are lost, you more you are able to embrace the new experience as it comes during a vacation. If you want to brag about how much fun you had, wait until you get back. Your phone takes away your precious vacation time, as well as not putting distance from the familarity you are trying to run way from. Usually if you still remember to call, it's a sign that you are not having fun. Not to check in the Base is the kind thing to do for your own sake and the Base people's sake. Really. If you hear your Base location is sunny while your vacation spot is raining, you will question yourself why you are here. If the Base people hear how much fun you are having while they are working, it just makes their misery more miserable. Leave your phone alone. If you have to check messages, do so first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening.
6. Peace Sign. If there are Japanese tourists around you, bet with the person next to you, that the Japanese will put on that peace finger sign above their heads when they take photos of each other. I guarantee you will win the bet, every time. What's the deal with the peace sign when people take photos?
Advice: The peace finger sign for photos is a Japanese girlish thing to do. It's outdated. We Americans are in a time of war. If your fingers are really itchy and they have to stick out during photo shooting, just the middle finger is enough. No more two fingers please!
7. Photo Shooting. You take a camera with you everywhere you go. If it's not a light-weighted waterproof camera, someone has to stay onshore just to watch your camera. You want to have as many images as possible to remember, and to show for after you return home. You don't watch the sunsets. You just shoot photos of the sunsets. In lieu of traveling, you photograph (Gosh, that's me!).
Advice: A vacation is a great photography opportunity. If you are a paid professional photographer, it's understandable you look at everything through your lens. Everyone else: why can't you just enjoy the quiet sunset moment and forget about posing for photo shooting for a change. You might want a couple of photos to remember that magic image forever, fine. But if you don't put down that camera, be still, hear your breath, and watch the motion of sunsetting, you might as well stay home watching the travel channel.
8. Bragging. You come home in one piece. For at least a couple of weeks following the trip, you relive your trip by sending trip photos, and recounting the events of the trip until everyone grows tired of it.
Advice: Go ahead bragging. Let others get jealous of, or hate you for having too much fun while they suffer at home the entire time. Haha. Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Welcome to reality. Tomorrow is Monday. Go back to your capital murder cell!
See. I myself have not had a vacation for a while. Maybe I'm just jealous of anyone who is going to have one soon. Be that as it may. I will take a run of the pitfalls of vacations here.
Pitfalls
1. Hyped Expectations. Your vacation comes once in a blue moon. You are hyper excited about the selected vacation dates. Just thinking of it makes you sing. The mundaneness of daily life becomes more interesting. Expectation of your vacation gives you something to look forward to. You think of those selected dates as your time of ultimate freedom. If you have to classify your days in the level of freedom, in terms of freedom, Mondays through Fridays have the lowest level, equivalent to be sent to the capital murder prison; Weekends are better but not quite, equivalent to be transferred to a lesser security prison. Vacation is the time you are set free. But expectation, when hyped, hampers your ability to enjoy your vacation because your vacation is now under pressure of living up to that hyped expectation.
Advice: Remember "Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise". Or expect very little so every little thing on your trip comes as a pleasant surprise to you. Go wild but lay low. Don't expect a good meal when the waitress tells you your ordered food is great. When the food comes, and after you taste it, you will know.
2. Fixed Return Date. Unless you drive, you buy a non-refundable round trip flight ticket ahead of time. You always do. You'd better have a return-ticket. Besides logistic reasons, a one-way ticket might trigger the airport security alert for a suicide bomber. The set return date and pre-paid return flight ticket save you from unforseeable hassles and give you a peace of mind. However, when the return date comes, you are either too eager to leave, or you wish you could have stayed longer.
Advice: When you plan a vacation, prepare for a flexible return date. If it's the same airline and same flight time on a different date, airline companies usually do not charge you anything for changing the ticket.
3. News Broadcasting. "I'm going to Hollywood!". "I'm going to Hollywood!". In the last episode of American Idol where the audition took place in LA, those selected idol candidates were jumping up and down with their yellow sheets - their golden tickets to fame. Don't they know they are already in Hollywood! It's LA for God sake! After you finish planning your vacation, you are like those selected American Idols broadcasting your vacation news "I'm going to Pakistan!" "I'm going to Paskstan!" because you are now holding that yellow sheet - your reserved electronic flight ticket to a vacation destination.
Advice: Hush! Keep your vacation a secret so if you change your mind, you don't have the liability of correcting the news again. Also, when you broadcast your travel news, you are likely to encounter two types of responses: the skepticism and the advice. The skeptics feed you with fear: "Are you sure it's a good time to go next month: swine flu, terrorists, plane crash, earthquake, poor Haiti... Isn't that morally wrong to vacation in Haiti while the people there are suffering? " The advisers feed you with unwanted information you prefer finding out yourself: "Where are you going to stay? I stayed there many times before. They have this coolest waterfall pool and tram ride. Oh you should check such and such..." So don't broadcast your vacation news. After you come back, if they ask you what you did last weekend, you just say with an expressionless face. Not much. Oh. I almost forgot I went to Tuscany. Watch their reaction. They will do the post-trip news broadcasting work for you. "Can you believe so and so went to Tuscany last week?"
4. Pressure of Having Fun. Because of your hyped expectations and your previous news broadcasting, you are now supposed to have fun. You owe it to yourself, and everyone else you broadcasted to because they demand your fun update when you return. You are psychologically pressed to have fun. You've got to tan your face in the sun though you could have done that at home mowing lawn for the same result. You've got to get out doing things. You shall not fail yourself and others by just doing nothing? Act I: Actions. Go!
Advice: You don't need to jump into the go-go mood as soon as you check in the hotel. That's work. Remember: this is your vacation. Sleep in. Hang loose. Disguise yourself as a local, not as a tourist. Only then you will start to relax and enjoy your vacation.
5. Reporting to and Checking in with the Base. Have you ever encountered this situation? Just as you lie down on the beach, enjoying the warm sun and the soothing sound of ocean waves, you hear a guy behind you talking on the phone, reporting every move of his, to someone on the other end of the phone. "I got here last night. I just came to the hotel beach. Man. It's gorgeous! It's sunny, about 80 degree. I have a book with me. I'm laying down my towel on the beach and I will then take a swim. What are you doing?” If he annoys you, don't be like him.
Advice: If you are in an emergency, call 911. If anyone back home is in an emergency, they will call 911. You are thousands of miles away; there is nothing you can do about it. Unless you need bail money because you are thrown in jail, you have large sums of business money at stake, or if you are dying in the hospital, you don't really need to call anyone, reporting what you are doing and where you are. You are on vacation. Get lost. The more you are lost, you more you are able to embrace the new experience as it comes during a vacation. If you want to brag about how much fun you had, wait until you get back. Your phone takes away your precious vacation time, as well as not putting distance from the familarity you are trying to run way from. Usually if you still remember to call, it's a sign that you are not having fun. Not to check in the Base is the kind thing to do for your own sake and the Base people's sake. Really. If you hear your Base location is sunny while your vacation spot is raining, you will question yourself why you are here. If the Base people hear how much fun you are having while they are working, it just makes their misery more miserable. Leave your phone alone. If you have to check messages, do so first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening.
6. Peace Sign. If there are Japanese tourists around you, bet with the person next to you, that the Japanese will put on that peace finger sign above their heads when they take photos of each other. I guarantee you will win the bet, every time. What's the deal with the peace sign when people take photos?
Advice: The peace finger sign for photos is a Japanese girlish thing to do. It's outdated. We Americans are in a time of war. If your fingers are really itchy and they have to stick out during photo shooting, just the middle finger is enough. No more two fingers please!
7. Photo Shooting. You take a camera with you everywhere you go. If it's not a light-weighted waterproof camera, someone has to stay onshore just to watch your camera. You want to have as many images as possible to remember, and to show for after you return home. You don't watch the sunsets. You just shoot photos of the sunsets. In lieu of traveling, you photograph (Gosh, that's me!).
Advice: A vacation is a great photography opportunity. If you are a paid professional photographer, it's understandable you look at everything through your lens. Everyone else: why can't you just enjoy the quiet sunset moment and forget about posing for photo shooting for a change. You might want a couple of photos to remember that magic image forever, fine. But if you don't put down that camera, be still, hear your breath, and watch the motion of sunsetting, you might as well stay home watching the travel channel.
8. Bragging. You come home in one piece. For at least a couple of weeks following the trip, you relive your trip by sending trip photos, and recounting the events of the trip until everyone grows tired of it.
Advice: Go ahead bragging. Let others get jealous of, or hate you for having too much fun while they suffer at home the entire time. Haha. Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Welcome to reality. Tomorrow is Monday. Go back to your capital murder cell!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Quick Easy Scannellini Bean Soup
Ingredients:
- 3 links sweet Italian sausage (1 1/4 pounds), cut into cubes. The recipe says raw sausage but I didn't find it in Fred Meyer so I bought the fully cooked sweet Italian sausage. For that reason I added some bacon to add flavor.
- 1 onion, chopped
- 3 pieces of thick lean pepper bacon, chopped to smaller pieces
- 1 bundle of head broccoli rabe, chopped to 2-3 inches. Broccoli rabe is not broccoli but you should be able to find it in a grocery store vegetable section.
- Chicken broth, 8 cups. That's 4 cans or 2 catoons. As you can, it's organic chicken broth that I bought.
- Two 15.5-ounce can scannellini beans, rinsed. scannellini beans are the same as white kidney beans. Next time I think I will try raw beans instead but then it won't live up to its name as being quick because cooking raw beans requires a much longer time.
Directions:
In a large saucepan, cook the sausage, breaking it up, over medium-high heat until browned, about 4-5 minutes. Transfer to a plate. Cook the bacon bits, transfer to the same plate. Add a tablespoon of olive oil, add the onion to the saucepan and cook until softened, about 3 minutes. Stir in the broccoli rabe and chicken broth and bring to a simmer. Cook for 3 minutes. Transfer the sausage and bacon to the saucepan. Stir and cook until heated through, about 2 minutess, season with salt and papper.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
